


Evoke

by cerespallas



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2008-08-05
Updated: 2008-08-05
Packaged: 2017-11-14 13:06:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/515536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerespallas/pseuds/cerespallas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quistis and Seifer - The worst thing she has done is moving on. Driven by guilt, she decides to turn back. This time, she might be able to see who he really was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meanings

**Author's Note:**

> **Before we begin...**

**Before we begin...**

Story type: Post Sorceress War, Turning Back Time

Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama

Pairings: Seifer x Quistis, Squall x Rinoa, Irvine x Selphie

Warnings: (twist of) major character death, blood, profanity

_\- About my stories:_

Maybe it's best to say that I never create a perfect character. Everybody has flaws, and if a character has to suffer to make a believable flow, I am sure to make them suffer. Nobody escapes what needs to be done.

If you want a character that never suffers, perfect in attitude and appearance, never sweats, never have their clothes torn from fights or have his/her hair ruined or even a scrape after blowing up the world, my story isn't for you. To blow up a garbage bin, the characters in my story WILL suffer.

_\- Disclaimer and story explanation:_

All characters and Final Fantasy Eight made for Play station One belong to their respective owner/designer/creator in their own company, which certainly doesn't belong to the author of this story. If you think this is winded, you should see my other disclaimer.

Here it is; my new story. I have the idea in my head for a while already, but I can't find the right time to write and publish it. As usual, constructive reviews are highly welcome, since I'm still learning. Actually, any comments are welcome, since I have no idea how this story will look for most Seiftis fans.

_Chapter One beta-ed by Windinmysail, admin of TheTrepies (Deviantart Group) and LegacyofFFVIII(DeviantArt Group)._

-x-

* * *

**Meanings**

* * *

-x-

"I know you love me."

She glanced up. "Care to say that again?"

The seventeen-year-old blond cadet exhaled, crossing his arms over his chest in the most contemptuous way he could muster.

It took all her reasonable wits not to smack him over the back of his head.

"There is no other reason why you're always giving me detention, Instructor," he said. "I've got detention every single time I walked out of your boring little class. If you don't want me to leave, all you have to do is ask."

"Really?" Quistis leaned her back against her chair. "You were skipping my class at least twice a week, and when you did come, you spent your precious time mocking Squall and throwing him anything you could get your hands on."

"Ah, so you saw it!" the Garden bully said. "I know you're watching me, Trepe. You should decrease that stalking actions for a bit. You might've made Leonhart jealous with all these amorous attentions you gave me."

She narrowed her eyes. "I wouldn't dare to say anything else if I were you, Seifer Almasy."

He leaned back, grinning. "And why wouldn't I, Instructor?"

"Because," she said, standing up. "You've just added five hours to your detention." She collected her books. "Alone."

His smile faded. "You know," Seifer said, rising up. "Romantic relationship between instructor and students isn't exactly wrong, Instructor. Why don't you just admit that you have a feeling for me? Let us step out of this flirting-punishing game once and for all."

She stopped in front of the class door, staring at him. "People have said that someone has to convince themselves at least three times a day to believe their own lies. I guessed it wasn't the case for your delusional symptoms. I think you should see Dr. Kadowaki after this."

He arched his eyebrow. "Probably you're the one who should, Instructor." He drew something out of his coat, tossing it at her.

She caught it in the air, examining it. "A hair clip?"

"Your birthday gift, Instructor," the smug cadet said. "Since I'm broke, that's all I have to offer. Leonhart can give you a better present."

She studied his face. "You know today is my birthday."

"Everyone in this Garden knows about it, Instructor," he said. "Even if your Trepies didn't yell about it on the hall, I think everyone still knows from the huge poster they've stamped everywhere."

She gave him a hesitant smile, pocketing her present. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He shrugged. "Now, can I get out of this class?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, you're still on detention. Stay here until five." Ignoring his groan, she turned around and paced out.

"We have to invent new ways around our relationship, Trepe!" he shouted. "I won't be your student forever! When I pass my SeeD exam next month, you're going to beg in my feet, asking me out. And you know what? At that time, it's already too late!"

-x—

She opened her eyes, staring at her white ceiling dorm.

_I'm dreaming about him… again?_

Something might have roused her up. She reached to the side, turning the lamp above of the side desk on.

Nothing was changed. She lay on her bed, in her own dorm, with a green tank top and army pants as her sleepwear. Closing her eyes, she wondered why the dreams occurred more often now. She never saw him after the war. After their last meeting inside Lunatic Pandora, he disappeared. They had searched for him, but after six months, Squall called off the hunt.

"If Seifer Almasy and his posse do not wish to be found, we should respect them," he said.

Quistis lifted her hand, looking at her wristwatch.

"Six…" She groaned.

It was too early to wake up, yet too late to go back to sleep. She stretched and yawned, deciding for some exercise. It was too long since she had her field mission, and she was too busy teaching at day to do anything that resembled workout.

She drew out a pair of white sneaker from her closet. Running around the Garden was better in the morning. Nobody, even the usual jogging kids around the hall, was awake at this hour. After tying her shoes, she lumbered out of her room, locking the door in silence.

Quistis Trepe used to be proud of herself, of the achievements she had in her young age. After fighting in the Second Sorceress War, Quistis came back to the Garden, only to find herself as one from many instructors. She might have been the 'mother' of the group who saved the world, but that was in the war.

Nobody in the group was as famous as Squall. He was well known, despite the fact that he hated it. When she was bored, Quistis studied Squall's frown lines, comparing it to the time when he was a new SeeD whose job was only to take care of Timber mission.

Emerging from the SeeD dorm, Quistis spotted four young SeeDs. They tumbled into the elevator shaft from the Garden entrance, each holding the edge of a massive wooden box. The package was big, seemingly heavy. The men huffed when they loaded the box into the shaft.

Quistis frowned, watching. One of the men jammed the button with his elbow, closing the door.

_Probably it's something Squall ordered…_ she mused, crossing her arms. Whatever it was, if four SeeDs were the ones doing the heavy lifting, Squall might've already known what was inside.

Starting her warm-ups, she overlooked the matter. If she was tired enough during the day, at night his image would disappear. Perhaps she could erase him from her mind… The sparkle on his green eyes, the shine on his hair, the way his lips curled when he was joyful and the never-ending remorse that she felt when she was unable to rescue him.

-x—

The Commander entered her class when her student was doing their exam. It was ten in the morning, and Quistis had a lot to do. He approached her desk, eyes staring at her.

"Can I talk to you on the bridge?" he asked.

She stopped signing the paper, looking up. "Is this about the box you've got this morning?"

An inexplicable look flashed in his eyes. "You saw it?"

"I was around. It was kind of hard not to notice," she said. "I guess… Whatever inside that box has something to do with me?"

He didn't reply. Instead, the commander turned around and marched out, waiting for her to follow. Squall bothered himself to walk inside a class during an exam. Which meant the box should contain something important. Maybe it was hazardous.

_A bomb?_ Quistis thought, shaking her head. If the wooden box contained bomb, Squall would alert Zell, Selphie or Nida. Quistis was there for support, concerning missions or classes.

_Probably a new GF?_ She frowned. If there was a GF inside that box, Rinoa could handle it better than her.

_You always think too much, Quistis._

"Rinoa was the first one to open it," Squall said. They entered the elevator. "I should be the one who did it, but she decided to open that thing before I arrived. Now…" he faltered.

"What is inside that box, Squall?"

"You can see it yourself," he said, walking out when the door opened for them.

As soon as Quistis arrived at the bridge, she saw the wooden box, placed in the centre of the room. The top lid was slightly ajar, but she could not see what was inside. Ambling to the side of the box, she tilted her head a bit to read a small note of paper on the lid.

"To Quistis Trepe, one of the six heroes…" she said. "This is for me?" Quistis shifted her stare to Squall who stood beside Rinoa. The sorceress was standing in the corner, looking upset.

"Wait, is this my birthday present?" Quistis perked up, yet the look on Rinoa's eyes made her smile falter. She turned back to read the rest of the anonymous letter, "Happy birthday, wish you well… _this is_ my birthday present…"

"It's impossible," said Rinoa wavering. "Nobody should have received this kind of present."

Squall circled his arm around his girlfriend's shoulder, saying nothing. Quistis frowned, now wondering why…

"Squall, why were you the one accepting this instead of me?" she asked. "I should be the one who got my own birthday present."

The commander said nothing, piercing his glare at the package. Quistis was familiar with this particular gaze, although she was confused why he reacted against her giant birthday gift.

"It was too heavy to be a simple birthday present," Squall said. "Since we'll celebrate your birthday this afternoon, I ordered some men to save this in the storage room."

Looking at the wooden box's size, Quistis beamed.

"Someone must be very rich, or they probably just sent their fridge for me," she joked, but none of her two companions laughed. "Well, I guess I should open it at my party this afternoon, not now. Right?"

"No," Rinoa said. "Just… open it, now."

"But you guys are saving this for my party—"

"Quistis," Squall whispered, his voice barely registered to her ears. "Please. It's not a present. It's a sick joke."

Hearing his words, Quistis turned to the box. She wondered what caused such reactions from her friends. She gripped the lid, pushing it aside.

_It can't be that bad. I mean, who wants to give anything bad for my birthday—_

The first thing she saw was a familiar golden hair. Then, a pale face that she would recognize anywhere, the face she dreamt at night. This time, the emerald eyes that haunted her dreams was not visible, covered by his eyelids and protected by long blond lashes. The pale lips below his nose, often used for endless mockery and sarcasms, now closed and parched. The grey coat wrapped his body in the way she memorized, along with the silver necklace he always sported in his neck. The only difference from the man she once knew was a bouquet of lily in his joined hands. He would never be seen handling gentle things such as flowers.

Crouching down next to him, she drew her wavering hand to the bouquet and touched it. It was cold and dying. She trailed the flowers down, stroking the tip of her shaken fingers against his skin. It was callous, as rough as she remembered. It was not supposed to be this cold.

He should be awake by now, sitting up and yelling his disdain to Squall, to her and to the rest of the world. He should never lay in there, lifeless.

She placed her temple against his cold forehead, closing her eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to fall out.

-x-

* * *

_**To be continued** _


	2. Jubilant Past and Poignant Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Jubilant Past and Poignant Eyes**

**Jubilant Past and Poignant Eyes**

* * *

It felt like a dream.

He was standing beside his rival's coffin, staring down at the lifeless body. After Quistis left, he turned, waiting for Seifer to make any movement. The man should rise up from his sleep and laugh, asking Squall how well was the prank. Then the commander would give Seifer a broken tooth or two, or nail the wooden top back to the box and let the prankster suffocate himself, a well-done revenge for giving him such a sickening feeling.

But Seifer never woke up. He stayed, even after Rinoa kissed his frozen lips and whispered goodbye before leaving for Quistis's party. Squall should be insulted that Rinoa kissed her ex-boyfriend instead of him, but at that moment, he simply did not care.

Fifteen minutes spent, staring at Seifer and pacing back and forth. Squall bent down, removed his black glove and placed his cold hand over Seifer's neck. A cold skin greeted his hand, something that should never happen if Seifer was alive. Seifer was always warm.

Squall studied his rival's features, all characteristics that created Seifer Almasy. Squall had welcomed the present earlier, thinking that it came from a rich Trepies who just want to make his or her instructor happy.

Rinoa had suggested to open it first before giving it to Quistis, in case it was a food that could be spoiled if left out for too long, or a pet that could die with a noticeable lack of ventilation on the wrapping. He agreed.

When they had seen what lay in the present, Squall could only stare. His eyes widened and his brain stopped. He refused the fact that his arch rival lay, frozen and still, inside the box.

Rinoa had screamed.

He had turned to his hysteric girlfriend and said, "I'll get someone who knows what we should do. Wait here."

He left as quickly as possible. He had no idea who to call, who to tell.

He did not even know if he knew anyone who could be sober enough after they saw the casket. The only one he knew who could think under the pressure was himself. Not even Irvine or Zell could think straight under pressure, and Quistis—

Quistis—he forgot that it was her package. He tumbled—half running—to her classroom. In the middle of their way back to the bridge, he realized that she would be the worst person to know, but it was too late.

It had been over an hour since Quistis kneeled beside Seifer, resting her head against his. Her eyes shut; he had no idea what she was thinking.

"Who sent him?" she said in a soft whisper.

"I don't know."

"Is it from Garden?"

"I don't think so. It was placed outside the gate along with the note."

Quistis opened her eyes.

"Quistis," he said. "I need you to do something."

Quistis glanced up.

"About Seifer," Squall said. "I need you to keep this as a secret."

"I will."

"And I need you to contact Edea and Laguna," Squall said. "They have been looking for Seifer's whereabouts since Ultimecia's defeat."

"But I thought you ended the search?"

Squall shrugged, trying to look ignorant. Nobody needed to know he had acted as if he didn't care where Seifer was, yet secretly asking his father to continue the investigation.

"So, I will go to our orphanage and Esthar," Quistis confirmed. "Should I cancel my classes?"

"I'll take care of that," Squall said. "You have to go as soon as possible, but don't cancel your class or your birthday party."

"You expect me to go to the party after seeing this?"

"You're a SeeD, Quistis. It's time to get used to this kind of thing."

With a cold and distant look towards him, Quistis left. Since then, he had been sitting alone in the bridge, not far from the blonde's body. Seifer started to chill from his natural lifeless state. Squall wanted to keep him warm. There should be something to warm a dead body…

 _I told her to get used to this kind of thing?_ Squall sighed. _Then why am I still here? Why I just can't leave him alone and go to her party? It's not like someone will come over and steal him._

Seifer was the same, although Squall noticed the thinning of the flesh and a lack of Hyperion by his side. He dressed in the same gray coat. Squall was familiar with the torn edges of the coat; he shaped all of them. This was how Seifer looked when they were fighting inside Lunatic Pandora.

Squall narrowed his eyes to Seifer's peaceful facade. "Why do you always have to get us into trouble? You still give us problems even when you're—" He stopped, biting his lips.

"I'm going crazy, am I?" Squall closed his eyes. "Who did this to you, Seifer?"

He opened his eyes and turned his face towards the window. He could see the gray-colored clouds overshadow the blinding sun. He would find Raijin and Fujin, and made sure they were safe—or at least still alive.

Whoever did this to Seifer, they would pay for it.

-x—

A subtle knock on her door might not annoy her, if it happened during the day. But for someone to bother her in the middle of the night when she tried to sleep— not only it was successful in waking her up, it also managed to spike her temper. It didn't help much that Quistis had insomnia, and today was still her birthday.

She buried her head under the pillow. Like her other birthdays, today was meaningless, ended in an anti-climax. The only gift she had from someone other than her Trepies was a hair clip, and nobody even cared to congratulate her.

"Quistis, open up."

She pulled the pillow away, glaring at the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Just open the door, Quistis."

Grumbling and wondering what the blond was doing in front of her room at one in the morning, Quistis sat up. She stood and opened the door. Seifer was grinning and holding a small package in his hand.

"May I come in or what?"

"If I say no, would you leave?"

Ignoring her, he pushed through and barged in. Quistis glanced to her back. The infiltrator had already made himself comfortable, sitting on the carpet beside the bed.

"I guess there is no way I can tell you to leave—"

"Sit down and eat this," Seifer said, tearing at the box. "And I'll leave."

Quistis raised her brow, closing the door. Studying the cake that Seifer produce from the package, she couldn't help but smiled and sat down across from him.

"Here you go." Seifer offered the cake. "Your birthday cake."

She accepted it, trying her best not to look giddy or touched. "You said you don't have any money."

"I said I'm broke."

"That explains why this thing is so minuscule."

"Aren't you going to eat it? If you don't, just give it to me, I haven't eaten at all since breakfast."

 _Probably he saved his lunch money for the cake,_ Quistis thought as she stood up and moved to her small kitchen. She opened her cabinet with one hand and drew out a knife, cutting the cake into two smaller pieces. Placing down the knife on the counter, she travelled back to Seifer and handed one part of the chopped cake.

"I have no idea you are so thoughtful, Instructor," Seifer said, taking the cake from her hand.

"I always am, but not to you."

"Squall is a blind jammy boy, then."

She decided to ignore the comment; after all, he had bought her the cake and Squall had not. Squall had never done anything to her.

She frowned. Why she started comparing the two of them by what they had done for her? Squall was a better student. Seifer was a genius, but he was out of control, so—

 _Oh, great. One small cake and one hair clip, and already you have started to view him in different ways?_ Quistis rolled her eyes, biting the cake and letting the creamy flavour melt in her mouth.

Three seconds later, she curved her body in front of her sink, spitting out the rest of the thing and washing the inside of her mouth with tap water. Coughing, she turned and glared at Seifer, who watched when she jumped out and ran to the sink with a suspiciously calm expression.

"It's that bad, huh?" he said, still holding the other part of the cake in his palm.

"What is this thing?" Quistis pointed at the half-bitten cake beside the sink. "Are you trying to poison me?"

"I think I was confused between putting in sugar or salt, or more flour." Seifer shrugged, standing up and strolling towards his teacher. "I do think this might not end up very tasty. It's fortunate that you've tasted them for me. Here, if you still want the rest of it."

"Wait, are you—" Quistis sighed, raising her hand up and holding her cold palm against her throbbing temple. She took the cake from his hand and placed it next to her. "Are you trying to tell me you've made this yourself?"

"I don't have money." Seifer slanted his body, leaning on the edge of the counter. "So I use the materials from girls' cooking class. Can you believe how expensive a similar looking cake cost in Balamb Cake Shop?"

"They cost money because not everyone can make this without any experience, Seifer."

"At least it looks the same."

She narrowed her eyes. "That's why you don't eat it before seeing how I fare."

"Hey, I don't want to poison myself. I have a field exam today, remember?"

"You're impossible." Quistis walked towards the front door and pushed the entrance wider. "Thank you for your thoughtful idea, but you should leave now."

"That's it? One bad cake and you throw me out?"

"You have a field exam today, _remember_?"

Scowling, the six-foot-tall man strode out of Quistis's room with arms crossed and chin raised. She always thought the only good thing about Seifer was his physical feature. He might grow taller and even more muscular than he was now. He could be a fine field officer.

He stopped at her doorstep and turned towards her.

"I know my cake isn't something you can compare with what your Trepies and Squall have given to you today, but you should take account of my time, energy and plain good aesthetical skill to make that cake looks consumable."

He was joking, right? "Nobody gave me a cake but you, Seifer."

"Why not?"

All he got was a glare. "Nobody cared enough to give me anything but birthday cards."

"Even Squall?"

"What is it with you, and your silly illusion about Squall and me?"

He sighed. "So the only cake you have today was mine, and it's even inedible."

"Are you being regretful? Don't. It's not you."

"No, I was just thinking about how lonely and pitiful you actually are." He smirked, insensible to her heated glare. "Anyway, I'm sure you'll have a big birthday party later in your life."

"Thank you, whatever that is supposed to mean."

"Yeah, but I won't be the one who will hold it for you," he said and placed his hand to his hip, mimicking someone they both knew too well. "I think 'he' will be the one to hold it for you. You want to bet on it?"

She slammed the door right in front of his face.

"Okay, whatever." She heard him saunter away.

Quistis trudged towards her compact kitchen and took both of the cakes into her hands. She stomped on the trash bin pedal and ready to throw her only birthday cakes into it, before something crossed her mind. Staring at the cakes, she removed her feet from the foot pedal and headed towards the fridge in silence. She pushed the freezer door open and placed the cakes inside before closing the door carefully.

"Quistis? Quistis, are you okay?"

Startled, she turned towards Selphie, forcing her lips to form a smile. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Selphie tilted her head, studying the instructor. "You seemed far away. What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," Quistis said, looking down and twining her fingers against her chain-belt. "Just thinking how different my birthday last year compared to this."

Selphie turned her attention towards the overcrowded guests in the Garden Quad. "Yeah, it seems like everyone we know pile up in here."

Quistis pretended to listen to her friend's chatter while spacing out. Being a hero did cause her a good thing, all the people who had just met her once, twice or never actually met her in person came to the party. She wasn't used to this. Since the party started, she had fled to the loneliest corner in the Quad. Several hours ago she still had a high spirit, she could not wait for her first ever birthday party. The Commander and Selphie had arranged this for her. Deep down inside, she had wished that the only person who truly remembered her party would come as a surprise. Everything would be perfect.

Holding her hand against her mouth, Quistis held back a poignant laugh. He did come, didn't he? And she did get the biggest surprise from him. It was too bad he would never see her in her red refined dress, the one she had bought with him in mind. Not that she wanted him to compliment her, but it would be nice to step out of her comfort zone for once. She knew he would never compliment his ex-instructor anyway—

"Hey, guys!" Zell raised the wine glass in his hand, walking towards them. "Happy birthday, Quistis!"

"Thank you, Zell, but you have congratulated me this morning, remember?"

Zell's grin lessened as he shifted his body. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really?" Quistis tapped her index finger against her chin, the other hand hugging her waist. "So it wasn't you who left me a birthday card inside a box, filled with five partially-eaten hot dogs in front of my door this morning?"

Selphie's eyes widened. "Zell! I told you not to eat it!"

"I can't help it!"

"It's all right," Quistis said. "I'm sure you will give me another present. Right, Zell?"

"Uh—" Zell looked embarrassed. "Actually, that was your present."

Selphie covered her face with her hands while Quistis gave Zell a blank stare. "Oh."

Zell replied with an awkward laugh. "Anyway... I'm kind of surprised to see so many people here. I don't know you know a lot of people, Quis."

"I don't." All she wanted right now was to end this party and head towards the bridge. "I don't think half of the people here know who I am or whom this party is for."

"At least they are having fun," Selphie said. Her face brightened up when Irvine appeared on the Quad entrance. He saw her, tipped his hat and gaited towards them in his typical suave mode. "I'm so happy we're all here, all of the orphanage gang." She stopped and stuck out her tongue. "Aside from Seifer, that is."

Quistis's eyes twitched.

"I wouldn't be happy if Seifer is here," Zell said. "He's going to ruin this party."

Quistis frowned. "Seifer wouldn't do that—"

"Yeah, he will. We're talking about the biggest bully in here." Zell pointed to his back with his thumb, to the lonesome Rinoa who was chatting with someone they didn't recognize. "And...Selphie, not all of us are here. Squall is still on the bridge."

"Aw, who cares about him?" Selphie pouted. "Rinoa is enough. Squall and party will never coexist in the same sentence." She looked up as the dark sky growled out a thunderous warning. "Oh, no!"

"No way!" Zell cursed and staggered to the entrance when droplets of rain began to soak his spiked hair. "The weatherman said there will be no rain until next month!"

"And I believed you!" Selphie said, pulling Irvine who had arrived at her side to run back inside. The guests began to disperse from the center of the Quad and fled for the exit, blocking the entrance. "Move! Move, people! I should know better than to believe in anything you said, Zell. I could have set up a tent or portable roof!"

"Don't blame me, blame that stupid weatherman!"

"Everyone knows television weathercast can't be trusted, Zell," Irvine said, grumbling. Water seeped into his brown duster and his hat, and he mumbled about the laundry cost.

Quistis sighed, raising her hands to cover her head and following her friends, pushing away all the guests that piled at the entrance. The rain poured into her styled bun and clothes, and she began to feel like a drowned rat. When she finally entered the hall and looked around for her friends, everyone looked like the survivors of Leviathan's Tsunami.

Selphie and Zell sent her a helpless look. Irvine took off his hat and his duster, staring at it. He settled in fanning his hat around, spluttering the water to everyone.

"I guess that's it for my party," Quistis said.

"Sorry." Selphie seemed even more depressed than the birthday girl. "I don't know this would happen."

"It's okay." Quistis smiled. "I guess it's not the right time to hold an outdoor party anyway."

Selphie's face brightened. "Hey! We can still hold an indoor party!" Everyone groaned. Some of the guests began to walk towards the parking lot. "Hold it right there! Why are you guys leaving?"

"We're draining like a sewer rat!" was the simple answer. The other guests looked at each other and tailed the leaving guests.

"You guys are no fun!" Selphie said, turning back to the people who stayed around. Her expression fell when she noticed they were only Quistis and her friends. "This isn't what I imagined for today." And she sneezed.

"I—" Rinoa accompanied Selphie in the sneezes. "—I'd be happy to continue this party in your room, Selph, but first I have to change my clothes."

"Really?" Selphie replied with another sneeze. "That sounds—" Sneeze. "—good."

"Yeah, I'm in, too." Zell shrugged. "I don't understand why we're having a bad luck right when we're talking about Seifer."

Irvine grinned. "A jinx?"

"Stop talking about him," Quistis said, bending down and squeezing the water out of her skirt.

"Even when he's not around, he still brings bad luck, isn't he?" Zell rolled his eyes. "I think he's going to be happy to know he still makes us suffer even when he's officially gone."

"Stop it!"

Everyone turned their head towards Quistis. She glared at Zell, something unreadable sparked in her gaze. Zell flinched backwards.

"I don't—" Zell frowned. "Why are you so angry, Quis?"

"Stop talking about him like that."

"Why not? That's what he always did to us! He made us suffer!" Zell patted his ruined spike, trying to style it under the burning glare of his former instructor. "Why are you defending him like that?"

With a lump in her throat, Quistis breathed out. "I don't. I just—think it isn't nice to talk about someone when they are d—not here."

Everyone stared at her.

Quistis noticed Rinoa's pitying gaze, feeling the shared pain in them. Her lungs felt chilly and heavy. This cold rain had affected her more than she thought. "I still have to discuss a class program with Squall. I'll catch up with you guys later—or not."

"Yeah," Irvine was the first to reply. "You don't look okay. Perhaps you should just rest, Quis."

"Thank you, I think I will."

When Quistis had lumbered inside the elevator, she shut her eyes and rested her forehead against the cold wall.

All she wanted to do was to touch that pale face, to sit beside the cold body and stay in silence. She wondered if Squall would let her stay a night inside the bridge.

Stumbling into the bridge, Quistis noted that the door was unlocked. She had to talk to Squall to lock it, or else people might walk in and found the biggest surprise of the year. She closed the door and looked at the center of the bridge.

And she saw nothing. Blinking, Quistis gazed around and searched frantically for any trace of Seifer. There was nothing inside the bridge. It looked normal, as if nothing had happened. Quistis did not see Squall on the bridge either. She strolled around, touching the control panel and sitting on the empty pilot's seat.

She stared at the empty floor.

_Where is Seifer?_

Could it be that all that had happened earlier was an illusion? She always had insomnia. Could it be that… finally, it affected her in to the point where she started daydreaming?

Seifer was alive. She had dreamed about him, she always missed him. Today was her birthday, and the only person who always remembered about it was Seifer. All the dreams she had had since several weeks ago could be the reason why she imagined him being here.

Maybe her biggest fear was that her former student had left this world, therefore he became unable to contact them after Ultimecia had been defeated.

Holding back a laugh, Quistis stood up and left the bridge. She had to control her wide smile as she walked towards her own bedroom.

Yes, it was a dream.

Stopping in front of her bedroom, Quistis glanced at the room across from hers. She wondered if Squall and Rinoa were awake. Squall wouldn't care about her ridiculous dream, but Rinoa might share a laugh with her. She needed to tell someone and maybe—just maybe—she could convince Squall to reinstate the search mission for Seifer. She would be glad to take the leading role. She would be the first SeeD to jump into Ragnarok and fly to wherever it would be, to find him and bring him back home.

Quistis rapped on Squall's door.

"Who is it?" Squall sounded tired. "Rinoa?"

"No, it's Quistis."

"What do you want?"

"I have to talk to you, about what I think happened at the bridge earlier," Quistis said half-chuckling. "You wouldn't believe how silly I am!"

After a long silence, Squall opened the door. Quistis's smile faltered when she saw his red eyes. Squall frowned and stepped backwards, letting the woman enter. Her smile vanished when she saw a blonde hair sticking out below a blanket on the bed. Quistis dashed to the side of the bed and yanked away the blanket.

Her heart lurched when she saw him lay still on the bed, with his head placed above the pillow and his hands twined together on top of his abdomen. The coat and flowers that he had were gone.

"Why did you do this?" Quistis whispered. "Why did you move him?"

"I can't just leave him at the bridge. Nida and Xu will come early tomorrow. They will see him like this."

"Then _why_ didn't you tell me?" Quistis glared at Squall. "Why did you do this by yourself?"

"You're still in your birthday party." Squall rested his back against the door. "I can move him by myself; he's not as heavy as he looks... Not anymore."

"You should have just told me!" Quistis stood, enraged. "I thought—I thought that all was—"

"A dream?" Squall gave a satirical laugh. "If only."

"Then why did you put him in your room?" Quistis seethed. "You can put him into my room, and I won't get into this false comfort that he's—"

"It's good for you," Squall sounded plain. "At least one of us might feel a bit joyful today."

"Joyful? You think I will be joyful to see this?" She gasped for a breath. "How could you do this?"

Squall narrowed his eyes. "Because it needs to be done. Get out of my room, Quistis. You will depart tomorrow, and I expect you to set your temper and emotion aside for this mission." He growled. "Or I will assign another SeeD, and you will not have anything to say in the matter."

She stared at him in disbelief, before letting the blanket fall from her hand.

The trip back into her room was void.

She did not remember how she opened the door, how she walked in or how she moved to her kitchen. All she remembered was how she opened the fridge and stared inside.

Two old chopped cakes lay inside, among the ice cubes, frozen in time.

* * *

_**To be continued...** _


	3. Clandestine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter III**

**Chapter III**

**Clandestine**

* * *

-x-

In the darkness, the silence was deafening. As the breeze flew passed her, Quistis shivered and ducked her head low. She released a warm breath around her chest and neck, wishing for some warmth. The instructor shifted on her feet and peeked to the crimson-metal spaceship with a form of a massive bird behind her. She wanted nothing more than to turn around and run back into the warmth of Ragnarok.

Her ears caught a muffled sound of buzz. Quistis had enough for Caterpillars. She had battled more than a dozen of it earlier. With no actual enthusiasm for another battle, Quistis uncurled her whip and gave a warning snap. Save the Queen twirled with a technical turn of an expert arm, the tip of the long rope clashed against the invincible breeze, releasing a livid blare.

The drone stopped.

She brought her eyes up, looking past the dense layer of leaves and woods. He would come. There was no way Commander Leonhart would let Instructor Trepe stay and laze around with something as big as this. If the cadets took a morning walk and saw the tip of the Ragnarok's crown behind the level of trees, they might approach and investigate. Before that happened, Quistis knew Squall would notice that Ragnarok was not leaving.

She would not leave without Seifer.

In front of her, the dense foliage parted. Appearing from inside the thick jungle, he marched toward her. The gunblader stomped at high bushes and dead branches clutching his military boots. The gunblade was firm on his hand, coated with dripping scarlet and unpleasant fawn-looking appendages of his fiends. The right side of his black trousers was soaked. Droplets of blood dribbled down, marking each step with red circles. A spray of crimson decorated the white fur on his jacket.

His eyes looked a bit red. Squall blinked several times, as if to coat his dry grey orbs and compose himself before starting some argument.

 _Can he get some sleep last night?_ Quistis wondered while curling her whip and placing it back on the hook of her belts. Perhaps he slept next to Seifer. The thought disturbed her. Not that the sleeping arrangement mattered when they were cadets, but now—

"Need anything else?" Squall asked. "You were supposed to leave an hour ago."

Quistis crossed her arms against her chest. Beneath her, the heels of her boots sunk into the pliable soil saturated by morning mist. "May I bring him along?"

"What?" Squall narrowed his eyes. "What are you thinking? Why do you even want to take him? He is not important for this mission."

Quistis gnashed her teeth. "This mission is about him, Sq—Commander. If I don't bring him along, I doubt Laguna will believe my story."

Squall frowned, closing his eyes and placing the heel of his palm against his forehead. After a while he opened his eyes and muttered, "Do you know he doesn't stink?"

Quistis choked.

Squall trailed his gaze down to the battle residues coating his boots. "He doesn't smell. From the flower's condition, he might've been dead for more than three days. But he doesn't smell or rot."

Quistis refused to think that he would rot—smell—he wouldn't. No, he wouldn't. She would make sure of it. "I want to take him to Esthar. Odine would know what to do."

Squall shook his head. "He can't resuscitate a corpse."

"But Odine can do something for his body." Quistis remembered how gallingly genius Odine was. In his lab, the team had found enormous monster-sized tubes, various preservatives for mummification methods in sterile jars and expansive library filled with books on human anatomy and extensive DNA research. The doctor might be able to do something for Seifer.

Squall's eyes darted towards the open hatch of Ragnarok. He bit his lips, turning his attention back to Quistis. "Are you sure he can do something?"

Instead of answering the almost rhetorical question, Quistis sighed and tucked a strand hair behind her ear. "How long do you intend to keep him in your room?" She missed her hair clip. She had lost it yesterday after the party. No matter how long she had crawled under the bed and rummaged her drawers—even looking at any item that may stick between the pages of her books—she'd never found it. She knew she had to use other accessory, but that one-year-old hair clip was different. The nail securing the clip had broken more than twice. The colour of the clip had faded, now it had its initial colour of a cheap metal and rushed artistry. Zell who always repaired the shoddy ornament for her murmured that Squall should give her a raise to buy another hair clip.

"Squall, he is, after all—" she faltered, trying to find other words. What were the synonyms of a corpse? Dead being, lifeless body, carcass—all made her stomach churn. "You can't keep him in your room for long."

Squall toyed around with the hilt of his gunblade, wiping the bloody tip of his weapon against the cool terrain beside his boots. A dim, scarlet shine rising from behind the tranquil-blue ocean made him sigh in resignation. They had to hurry; the Garden resident would wake up soon. "Follow me. Be quiet."

-x-

* * *

Striding through the curvy part of the hall, Squall glanced to his back several times. Quistis trailed shortly behind him, her expression unreadable.

Squall knew she was right. They couldn't keep Seifer in his room forever. Nevertheless, a small part of him wanted to keep the man on his side. A part that Squall didn't even know he had.

Until yesterday.

* * *

-x-

_Quistis must be having fun at her party._

His seat was uncomfortable. Squall always wanted to change it, but Rinoa said if Squall's bridge seat is cosier than now, he will go to sleep on it and doesn't come back to his room at all. It wasn't a prospect Squall hadn't thought of yet, and when he quarreled with her, the prospect seemed even more enticing.

He shifted, trying to make himself cosy in his seat. If he was feeling comfortable enough, then he could stare at Seifer longer. He wanted to burn the image of the man in his brain. It might be his last chance to remember how Seifer looked like.

If only his stare could wake the blonde.

The short clock needle was pointing to seven when Squall rose up from his chair and ambled toward the casket. He took Seifer's arm and pulled the blonde against his chest. Seifer's arm was thin; it was only a rough layer of skin wrapping the bones. Squall put his other hand on Seifer's back, supporting the blonde. Seifer's head lolled to Squall's chest, and the Commander felt a twinge of pain.

"What is this?" He looked down to Seifer. "Wake up. There is no way you'd lay on me for no reason."

He obtained no response. Grinding his teeth, Squall released Seifer's arm, looped his hand behind the back of Seifer's knees and hoisted the man up from his wooden casket.

Seifer's arm fell from his body. The withered flower in his twined fingers dropped to the ground, bouncing low against the hard surface, its messy petals scattered on the floor. Squall smelled the scent of lily. He frowned, looking down to the man on his arm.

Something was amiss. He smelled a flower but not Seifer. The man who was dead and placed inside the casket should stink. He skimmed down to the visible skin on Seifer's neck. There was no dead tissue on it. His skin was dry, parched but not in any stage of rotting.

Squall knew how dead person looked like. Seifer looked as if he was sleeping.

Shaking the limp body on his arm, Squall snapped, "Wake up! This isn't funny!"

Seifer's head lolled to the back. Squall quickly fixed the position so Seifer wouldn't choke himself due to the lack of air. Realizing what he was doing, he tittered.

"What am I doing?"

The current Seifer was light. He could bring the blonde gunblader to his room without having to take a rest in between. Squall made his way to the entrance, leaving the bridge. Had this been Seifer from a year ago, Squall would be staggering for breath if he carried the man for more than five minutes.

There was nobody in the hall on the first floor. Having nothing else to entertain him, Squall indulged in a slight gratefulness for Quistis's party. Nobody had bothered to talk to him this afternoon. All attention was for the blonde.

Rushing toward the dorm with a limp gunblader on his arm, Squall reached his corridor in several minutes. His boots were the only thing making noise as he made his way to his own room. He placed Seifer on the floor beside the door. When the man slid down onto the carpet, Squall hurriedly took his arms and fixed him to a better position. Squall swiped his card in the ID machine, pushed the door and peeked inside. Rinoa was not around.

Once again securing Seifer on his arms, Squall entered his suite. Lurching into his bedroom, he moved toward the bed and dropped the lifeless body atop it.

What should he do next?

Taking a raspy breath, Squall darted his gaze around the room. Rinoa shouldn't sleep here tonight. He grabbed Seifer's boots and tugged it, starting to undress the blonde. Halfway through his task, he stopped, staring at the long scar on Seifer's stomach. Seifer had many scars from their battle. So did Squall. Nevertheless, Squall had never marked Seifer with a deep, long-scarlet gash on his stomach.

"Dueling with anyone else but me?" Squall tossed Seifer's coat behind him. "What about your promise for another duel?"

 _I bet he forgot about it._ Squall blinked. _What am I doing, talking to a corpse?_

Squall yanked Seifer's trousers, stopping when he touched Seifer's left knee. Frowning, he gingerly placed his fingers on the knee.

There was no kneecap. Grasping Seifer's lower leg in his hand, Squall pressed his palm against the skin, trying to locate Seifer's leg bone. Swallowing a dry lump on his throat, Squall used the other hand to squeeze on the same leg. He felt many pieces of bones, scattered between the tissue and skin.

Concentrating back to the undressing task, Squall seized the trousers, gently this time, pulling Seifer out of his costume. He drew his own clothes from the closet, staring at it.

"I don't know if this fits you, but—" he faltered, moving to the blonde. In a languid pace, Squall looped the shirt over Seifer's neck. He held the back of Seifer's neck when the head lolled backwards.

"Why do you loll your head so much?" Squall murmured, touching the neck. His next word died on his tongue as he placed his thumb along the neck bone and traced it. Grinding his teeth, Squall set Seifer on the bed. "You didn't die a good death, huh?"

He couldn't believe how calm he acted. Squall looked at everything but Seifer as he continued to dress the blond. The frame on the bedside table had never looked so enticing before. The warm blanket under the limp body looked comfortable. If he covered Seifer with it, the man would feel warm—

Squall shut his eyes. His shoulder slumped. Kneeling down beside his bed, he placed his head on top of Seifer's stomach. He wished he could smell something out of the blond. It would make this real. He'd never felt the sorrow stabbing at his chest like this, not even when he lost Rinoa in space. The unfamiliar sensation twisted, struggled and crawled underneath his skin. Sting prickled at the corner of his eyes, but Squall wouldn't cry. Not for his rival. No, not even for the Seifer that he knew at the orphanage.

He pulled himself together and stood up. With wavered fingers, Squall pulled the blanket from underneath the blonde and spread it to cover Seifer's body. He tucked the material under Seifer's chin. The commander pulled himself back, looked at Seifer's sleeping face and flexed down. He pulled the material to cover his head.

_There you go._

Squall hesitated. His fingers reached for the blanket to pull it back down.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" He pulled his hand back. "Rinoa?"

"No, it's Quistis."

"What do you want?"

"I have to talk to you, about what I think happened at the bridge earlier," Quistis said half-chuckling. "You wouldn't believe how silly I am!"

Something inside him whispered in his ears, wanting him to open the door and wound the woman waiting outside. If it weren't for her, he wouldn't come as her _gift_. If it weren't for Quistis Trepe, Seifer Almasy wouldn't die.

"Squall!" he heard Quistis's voice. "Are you in there?"

He strode to the door and yanked it open.

-x-

After the war a year ago, Ragnarok barely had any use anymore. Aside from Selphie who used it for occasional trips to Trabia, nobody else bothered to put the plane to better use. At least Selphie took a good care of the ship.

Quistis was sitting in the pilot's seat, head leaned against the chair. Squall lumbered into the control bridge. He moved to her, placing his hand on top of the seat beside hers.

"I placed him on the bed." Squall looked at everything but Quistis. "Be careful with the flight and don't crash against anything."

Quistis chuckled. "I'm not Selphie, Squall."

"No," Squall said. "You're not." Something in his tone made Quistis's smile falter. "Report to me as soon as you arrive at the orphanage."

Quistis turned her attention back to the control panel. "Affirmative." Biting her lips, she waited until Squall left and closed the entrance hatch from the control machine.

Squall stopped near the foliage, turning his body back to see the Ragnarok humming. With a smooth motion, the spaceship pushed its front body up towards the sky, leaving the plains of Balamb Garden.

Setting the machine in autopilot, Quistis stood up. She strolled to the back of the plane. It wasn't that she didn't believe Squall when he said he had put Seifer inside the resting cabin. She felt as if he didn't want to let Seifer go.

Seifer was not Squall's possession, although the commander seemed to think so. He had refused any help from Quistis while carrying the body to Ragnarok. Quistis had informed him it was better to walk from the Parking Area. The gate entrance should be filled with students returning from their morning exercise. He had shot her an annoyed glare and turned to the Parking Area.

She'd never seen Squall that possessive. Even back when Rinoa was in a coma and they were looking for Esthar, Squall would let Zell or Irvine to carry her when he needed a rest.

Entering the resting cabin, Quistis breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Seifer lie on the cot. Smiling despite the dire situation, she moved and sat beside him, tilting her head to study him further. Squall had taken his care to another level. It looked like he even combed Seifer's hair. Quistis reached out her hand and smoothed back the stray blonde strand that always seemed to fall to Seifer's forehead.

-x-

She didn't sleep yesterday, instead taking time to pull out the folder and working on grading his students' paper. Quistis Trepe was always working. She knew what she would dream about if she fell asleep. Even knowing that her nightmare wouldn't be worse than reality, she still refused to succumb to the body's need to rest.

When the morning came, she readied herself, stopped herself in the middle of putting on her lipstick. Who would notice her if she put on a make-up anyway? Did she want to show herself to Seifer?

Quistis glanced at the wall clock and realized how funny the situation was. Her former student was dead, lying inside the room of another former student of hers—who was now a commander and therefore the boss of her—and she was grooming herself to see a dead man.

Leaving her bathroom, Quistis ambled towards the bed and plopped down. Burying her face on the pillow, she closed her eyes and wondered if she could see Seifer again after completing this mission.

Mission—this mission was about Seifer.

_Why can't I take him along?_

_-x-_

* * *

Edea thought she'd never hear that gentle hum again. Looking out from her window, she widened her eyes and turned around, leaving her kitchen. The red spaceship disembarked on Centra rocky plains just before the flower field.

Quistis's feet barely stepped on the Centra terrain when Edea stumbled onto her catching the blonde in an affectionate hug. Quistis reciprocated and smiled when Edea patted her back.

"It's really nice to see you," Edea said, her dark eyes gleamed. "How are you? Who are you coming with…?"

Quistis gestured toward the open hatch behind her. "I come with Seifer. We need to talk—"

Edea smiled even brighter. "Seifer? Oh, he's coming to see me? It's been so long since I saw him. I thought you said you can't find him?"

"We sort of did," Quistis said, almost tumbling when her Matron hurried inside passing the blonde in her fervor. "Wait! Matron—wait a minute, please!"

Edea had disappeared into the back cabin. Quistis felt dreadful when she followed her Matron into the ship. Edea sat beside Seifer, mimicking her own position earlier. Quistis stopped at the door, leaning her body on the doorframe.

"Is he sleeping?" Edea asked. She nudged Seifer's shoulder, trying to wake him up.

Quistis swallowed.

"Quistis?" Edea glanced at her. "Is something wrong?"

Quistis closed her eyes as Edea continued her futile attempt to rouse Seifer up. She actually had a hope that their Matron would be able to wake him up.

What was she thinking?

"Seifer," Edea said, smiling to Seifer's peaceful face. "Wake up."

Quistis wanted to run. She wanted to hide. But more than anything, she wanted that man lying on the cot to open his eyes and growl curses.

None of her wishes were granted. Quistis opened her eyes only to look at Edea's bitter expression.

"What happened, Quistis?" Matron frowned. "Why isn't he waking up?" Despite her question, she instinctively placed two fingers on his neck, searching for a pulse.

Matron didn't have to wait for anything. There was no sign; Seifer's ashen face and cold skin already assured her thoughts. Taking her hand back as if it was burning, Matron turned her poignant gaze to Quistis.

"Who did this?" Her voice was shaky. "Who? Why?"

"I—I'm sorry," Quistis stammered. "We found him like this."

"We… who?" Edea stood up and walked to her, stopping halfway when she saw Quistis stumbled backward. The instructor looked fearful and sad. "Quistis, why is this happening? Why is Seifer—" she faltered, looking at Quistis's culpable expression. "Why?" Falling on her knees, Matron gripped her hand against the edge of the bed across from Seifer's. Her long-raven hair flew fluttered in disarray when she stooped her head low. Her body shuddered in a long, harsh tremor.

Quistis hugged herself when her Matron started weeping. She was weeping for her lost boy. Her lost knight. Quistis hoped Edea wept for her part as well, because she could no longer grieve for Seifer without losing herself.

-x-

"What do you mean you'll take him to Esthar?" Edea shook her head. "No. We'll bury Seifer in here."

"But, Matron—"

"Seifer must have wanted peace." Edea raised the knife slicing at the vegetables with practiced moves. "That is why he came back to you like that."

Sitting with a cup of warm tea in hand, Quistis stared at her former guardian standing in front of the sink. "Seifer wouldn't want that."

"Seifer wouldn't want to have his body examined in the lab after his death." The knife was moving a little too fast. "I want him to rest in peace."

"Would it be peace if you just bury him in that field?" Quistis waved her free hand toward the flower field outside the window. "How can you call it peace if nobody knows who killed him?"

"Why would it matter now?" Edea glanced at her. "Would it bring Seifer back from his death if you know who killed him?"

"No, but—"

"Revenge only brings pain, Quistis." Edea wiped her hands on the napkins hanging above the sink. "There is no point in adding more salt to our wounds."

 _Is it better to let the wounds open and bleed?_ Quistis placed the cup on the table. "I have to go to Esthar. I won't leave him here."

Edea turned at her. "Why? Why are you taking his body to Esthar? Do you know how much it will disturb him if he knows his body is taken from one place to another?"

"He's dead," Quistis heard herself said. "He wouldn't know anything."

Edea frowned. "You've changed, Quistis. You used to be so compassionate. The old you would care a lot about how Seifer felt."

"Everyone changed." Seething from the unfair judgment but refused to show it to her Matron, Quistis stood from her seat behind the table. "I am always logical. I want to give my former student a better facility, even though he's officially dead." She turned around and strode to the door. "It was nice to see you again, Matron."

"Quistis." Matron rushed to follow her and grabbed her arm. "I'm coming with you."

Quistis stopped, turning to the woman.

"If you don't want to leave Seifer here, I will come. I want to be with him." Edea sent a quick glance around the empty room. She used to think that after the war everything would be all right. She wanted to repair the orphanage and fill it with laughter and shouts of children. She wanted to be Matron again. Instead, her husband had left only after two months. "I've heard about the riot in Esthar. It'd be better for you if I come along."

 _Riot?_ "What riot? Nobody informed Garden about it."

"I don't know the details," Edea said. "But Cid went to Esthar to see if he can help with anything. He hasn't come back."

Quistis looked at the Ragnarok. Esthar had gone quiet lately. She'd never heard about a riot, but Esthar was a country known to keep everything as a secret. If they were coming at a wrong time, would Odine be available for Seifer?

-x-

Sorting the books at Laguna's bookcase, Edea took one and sat next to the SeeD instructor. "Seems like I was wrong," she said, smiling in relief.

Quistis sat on the closest chair to the door. She nodded, saying nothing.

Several hours ago, Ragnarok arrived at Esthar and landed on the newly built port. The guards had greeted Quistis and Edea in front of the entrance hatch. Quistis asked for Laguna, but they said the president was busy. Quistis wanted to place Seifer's body under an immediate care in Odine's Lab, but it seemed like the whole palace was busy preparing something to care for the two waiting women. They were escorted to the president's office and left alone.

Glancing at the clock, Quistis frowned. How much longer did they have to wait?

Laguna barged into the room, panting. Smiling to Quistis and Edea, he greeted them, "Hey! How are you ladies doing?"

Placing the book on the seat, Edea stood up and gave her hand for the president to shake. "We are doing well, thank you. It seems like the palace is a bit busy today."

"Eh? Yeah—" Laguna released her hand and looked away. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

Standing up and giving a proper salute, Quistis said, "Laguna, can I talk to Odine soon?"

"What? Uh—" Ambling to his own chair behind the sturdy mahogany desk, Laguna rubbed his nose and looked down to the documents stacking high on the desk. "Sure, but he's in the middle of an important experiment right now."

Quistis should be wondering why Laguna refused to look at her, if only she weren't too absorbed in her own thoughts. "Laguna, have you received a call from Squall?"

Laguna shook his head. "He hadn't called me these days."

Edea glanced to Quistis. "I suppose you hadn't heard then."

"Heard what?"

Edea stopped smiling. She turned to the president and said with a tinge of agony, "Seifer passed away."

Snapping his head up, Laguna blinked. "Um. Oh." Sitting on his chair, he toyed with the paperweight above the documents. "Sorry to hear that. Isn't he the one in Lunatic Pandora?"

"Yes," said Quistis. "I brought him. He's in the Ragnarok. If possible, I want Odine to examine him."

Laguna kept observing the paperweight, his eyes dimmed with a future prospect that he'd rather not discuss with a SeeD and a sorceress. "Um, okay, sure."

Frowning, Quistis scrutinized Laguna. "You've lost a lot of weight, Laguna."

He looked up. "I am? I guess..."

Tilting her head a bit, Edea studied Laguna's features. "You don't look very well."

"Esthar is kind of busy with all the events lately." It was uncanny how easy it was for those lies to flow out from his mouth.

"Please take care of your health." Edea frowned. "I'm looking for Cid. He's here, isn't he?"

"Cid?" Laguna mumbled. "He was here, but he left a week ago. He was heading towards Balamb."

"He's not in there," Quistis said. "I would've known."

Edea looked disappointed. "Ah. I see."

"Sorry, but I have another meeting after this," Laguna said, looking sheepish. "I'll meet you at breakfast tomorrow."

"Then I'll go to Odine's Lab," the instructor said. Observing the way Laguna shifted, Quistis hid her frown.

Edea glanced to the president, wanting to ask more about her husband's whereabouts. But maybe it wasn't the right time. Laguna looked pale and tired. She turned and trailed behind Quistis.

They were already behind the door when Laguna said, "I'll call the soldiers to help you carry him."

"Thank you," said Quistis.

Watching the women until they disappeared behind the thick door of his office, Laguna slumped down. Covering his face with his palms, he breathed a nervous chuckle.

"How much longer do I have to do this?"

-x-

For the first time in her life, Quistis was wondering who he was. The pale placid man who was floating inside the tube filled with transparent chemicals didn't look real anymore. She wished she could look at his eyes. If he opened his eyes and stared at her with that marine-coloured orbs, it may make this whole idea of 'preserving' real.

Odine's result had come faster than everyone expected. He wagged the paper and slipped into Seifer's room when Quistis and Edea observed the process. The workers had placed Seifer in a standing—albeit a bit crumpled—form inside a tall glass tube. As soon as the lid was secured and locked, chemical liquid flooded in a mad rush dousing the slumped man with a harmless-looking solution. Quistis knew better than to assume anything about the preservative made by Odine himself. The liquid rose up quickly inside the tube, filling the empty space of air and soaking the body.

Seifer was now a standing-straight figure inside the glass display. He appeared more like a porcelain human-sized doll than a preserved corpse. Nevertheless, the staff in the preservation chamber must've never done this to anyone his size...Or anyone in that matter. In a few seconds, his feet rose up and left the bottom of the tube. The women's mouths were open when they saw his body starting to float to the top, until his head bumped the tube's lid.

Ruining the solemn, almost eerie atmosphere in the room, Odine shouted, "Obviouzly he'z killed!" The women turned with annoyed expressions as the doctor smacked the folder onto the table and paced around the room. "The leg bone waz ruined. His neck bone waz znapped!" He stopped in front of Quistis. Something akin to excitement marred his wrinkled features. Gratification of finding an unsullied experimental object that he could test on always did that to him. "You're zaying he was plazed inside a casked and zhipped to you? Dat iz impozzible! He waz dead more dan a week ago, dere waz no way he could look diz frez!"

Everyone knew Quistis's birthday. She wasn't surprised to find a stranger on the street congratulating her, the war heroine, on her birthday. Whoever wanted to surprise her by the gift, they had done well. She was surprised, all right.

Along with the shock, fury had formed behind her docile expression. Quistis fisted her palm. She wanted revenge. Whoever thought doing this was funny, they were sorely mistaken. She would make them pay.

"Can you determine the killer weapon?" Quistis looked away when the staffs left their position from circling around the tube. Of course, like what she had seen in the Sci-fi movies, Seifer had to be nude inside that tube. Why did Odine place the blonde inside a transparent _see-through_? She certainly didn't want to view a certain part of him…

"It iz eazy!" exclaimed Odine. "Blade! He waz zliced by a blade on his stomaz and dull weapon cruzed his head. Then, zomeone broke hiz leg and—"

"That is enough," Edea said. Her expression darkened. Quistis could almost see a sliver of magic behind her Matron's dark eyes. "I don't want to hear how my child suffered."

"But diz is de most exziding pard!" Odine said. He was almost hopping in place. Quistis took a glance at Edea's face and wondered if the doctor ever experienced Edea's wrath firsthand. "The neck bone waz cruzed by bare handz!"

All that Quistis could memorize afterward was Odine scampering outside while shouting obscenities and a few terrified pleas.

-x-

-x-

Caressing the tube, Quistis studied the floating figure in the centre. Edea had said something to Odine's assistant, and he found a metal cover to wrap around the half-bottom part of the tube. Quistis placed her head against the cold cylinder, listening to the quiet gurgling sound of liquids around her former cadet. The tube was connected to several machines. Several control panels were scattered around the room, the lights from the panel blinking every two seconds. The machines were humming, the only audible noise in the quiet chamber. Odine had said that changing the preservative liquid inside the glass every five hours was the only way to keep Seifer's body at this condition.

Would they keep him here forever? When Quistis grew old and wrinkled, would she still able to travel to Esthar and visit him?

The old Quistis and the fresh, eternally youthful Seifer...That wasn't what she wanted. But then again, these days Quistis had no idea what she wished for any more.

She peered up, looking at Seifer's face. "You look too peaceful. I almost think you're smiling when you're dying." She brought herself to move away from the glass. "I'll figure out a way. There must be something I can do."

It was then that Quistis remembered where she was. She smiled, her tense pose relaxed. "Of course." She chuckled. "Yes, of course." The instructor studied the panel and murmured, "We can solve this together. You and me."

-x-

Hearing several terse knocks, the woman in the bed turned her attention from her book to the door. She wondered who it might be. At this hour, nobody was allowed to see her anymore.

 _Maybe it's him_. She smiled. He hadn't come for days, knowing that the person who they loved so much would throw a hissy fit. It was unlikely that Laguna would ever give them a chance to be together. She couldn't understand his reason and wouldn't care for any of it. All she knew was that she loved him, and her feeling was reciprocated. "Come on in."

Her smile faltered when Quistis Trepe walked into her room. The blonde looked tired when she approached her bed.

"Quistis," she greeted, hands closing the book and setting it down on her night table. "I heard about Seifer. I'm sorry." She kept her body on the bed, a pillow on her lap. She didn't dare to stand up.

"Thank you," said Quistis. "I heard you're unwell, Sis."

Shifting her body to find a more comfortable position, Ellone showed a vague smile.

Quistis wanted to ask why Ellone avoided her and Edea. Of course Sis must have heard about Seifer. Without wanting to be judgmental, Quistis thought Ellone would show up at Odine's lab to show her sympathy. But in reality, it took Quistis two and half an hour to locate Ellone's room. That was after she threatened the guard who blocked her path to the palace inner hall.

Everything seemed different in this place. It was hard to even breathe, as if the atmosphere in the air was too hard for Quistis to take. Laguna had gone for another important meeting. After leaving the sleeping Edea in their room, Quistis ventured outside and found the guest corridor empty. There were only a small number of guards patrolling the palace. None of them knew where Cid was.

Quistis wanted to chastise Ellone, but maybe Sis was really unwell that she couldn't get herself out of bed. "Sis," she said, noticing the pale cheek and tired looking eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

Ellone seemed to know what she was thinking. Shaking her head, Ellone looked away. "I can't."

Realizing there was no need for small talk, Quistis stepped forward. "Why not?"

"I'm not in the right condition to help you see Seifer's past." Ellone twined her fingers. Her fingers were a bit swollen than they used to, but Ellone wouldn't have it any other way. She loved her present condition, although she knew she shouldn't show it to anyone. "And it wouldn't change anything even if you know who killed him."

Quistis frowned. Ellone kept avoiding her gaze. After several minutes, Quistis said, "So, you don't care about him."

Ellone snapped her head at her.

Quistis crossed her arms. It was foolish of her to think Sis would care for anyone but herself, Laguna and Squall. "You don't care as long as it doesn't concern your own health."

"It's not that…"

"It is." Quistis turned, almost treading to the door. "I'm sorry I asked. Get well soon."

"Quistis!" Ellone called. Standing up from the bed, she clutched the pillow in front of her. "I really can't do it! Seifer's already dead and I might endanger myself if I—" she faltered. Was it the right thing to do? Could she make Quistis understand without having to expose it? No, she couldn't. Not without making the blonde hate her. "Quistis! Look at me!"

Quistis turned around. "What? Why do I have to…" Then she stopped.

Ellone stood beside her bed, the pillow long forgotten. She clutched a bit of her night outfit and pulled it to the side, showing her swollen abdomen.

-x-

* * *

_**To be Continued…** _

* * *

-x-

-x-

-x-

* * *

_The_ _following rambling would have no sense and no connection whatsoever to the plot above._

**CP's Notes**

The word pants didn't do well for the image inside my brain, because I was taught that pants : underwear. Squall was wearing black bloody briefs to cross the forest? Seifer might've not been _that_ dead, then. I don't think Squall would wear boxer with that leather trousers—pants.

Odine and his accent *grumble*

To sissyHIYAH: Sorry! I keep saying I'm working on this and I finally post it after a long, long time.

* * *

**NG—** _**Why It Took an Hour for Him to Arrive…** _

_T_ _he dense foliage parted as he marched to her. The gunblade was firm on his hand, coated with dripping scarlet and unpleasant fawn-looking appendages of his fiends. The right side of his black pants was soaked; droplets of blood dribbled down, marking each step with red circles._

_Quistis blinked before focusing at his pants. It was a petite, triangle-shaped black cotton cloth tied with two black thin ribbons on the sides. The right side of his bare hip and thigh was coated with scarlet fluid and green slimy monster juices. She didn't want to think how Squall looked like from behind._

" _You've been wearing that…to penetrate the forest?"_

_He grunted, waving his gunblade up to rest on his shoulder. "This is excellent bait for T-rex. And sooner or later this will wake Seifer up."_

_It wasn't the first time she wondered about his mental sanity._

* * *

Okay, bad humor.


	4. Forlorn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _This particular chapter contains explicit (bloody) material._   
> 

_This particular chapter contains explicit (bloody) material.  
_

* * *

**Chapter IV**

**Forlorn**

* * *

-x-

"Squall… Not everyone can get by on their own, you know."

"Says who?"

Looking down and tracing her steps on the sand, Quistis wondered at what point it went wrong.

_We think we should reconsider your qualification as an instructor, Miss Trepe._

_Reconsider? Why don't you just tell it like it is. I failed. Why exactly am I failing? Why nobody bothered to tell me?_

"Then go talk to a wall."

... _I see. I did fail that one._

Gentle tune from the building behind her accompanied her lone pace. Three more footsteps dug into the sand before she saw something that didn't belong to the beach landscape sitting with his back on her. His head buried between his knees; she saw nothing of the man who stood tall and proud only a few hours earlier.

"Is this seat taken?"

His head turned to the source of the voice. The corner of her lips formed a small dent upwards and his shoulder gave a halfhearted shrug.

Sitting beside Seifer, Quistis cuddled her knees.

"Finished with Puberty Boy, Instructor?"

"We haven't even started anything yet. And I'm no longer an instructor."

His eye darted at her, questioning.

"No, I don't know why." Her hand snatched a fistful of sand and squeezed them, wishing it was someone else's neck… preferably someone in the Faculty. "Something about being too close to the cadet."

"So they did notice you and your sulky boy." He focused on the lazy waves coming close to their sitting spot. The dark cerulean waves halted and turned back just before their feet. "You are not an instructor and I am not a SeeD. Sometimes Hyne is fair."

"Hyne is fair if you become a SeeD."

His eyes flickered before turning towards her.

"How long did you wish for it to happen, Seifer?" Quistis placed her hand in front of her feet and opened her palm, letting the abused sand fluttered in the night breeze. _Who knows what you will be if you quit now. Someone with skill and power like you shouldn't be allowed to be anything but SeeD._

"Did you become a human once you stepped down from your instructor throne? They should do this a long time ago." His feet burrowed deeper into the sand. "Doesn't matter, it's not my goal anyway."

"Goal?" She supported her cheek with her sandy palm and caught a better look at his expression, "What kind of goal are we talking about? You don't want to be a SeeD?"

His lips formed a bitter grin, Seifer stood and stretched. His ear catching the flow of the gentle waltz from behind, his head turned to regard the blue building standing behind them. "Let's dance."

Her head tilted a bit to the side. "Your goal is to dance with me?"

He smirked. "Wouldn't that make you feel proud, ex-instructor?"

Rolling her eyes, Quistis pushed her body up with one hand. "Just one song. I need to get back. Tomorrow I have a morning class—" Her voice faltered, her hand reached for his offered palm. "Anyway, still just one song."

"How painful does it feel, ex-instructor?" He drew her body closer to his. "To have something you rightfully own taken from your hand?"

"Not as painful as my heel digging through your foot if you keep that up." She felt his chest shaking from silent laughter. "My case is different from yours, Seifer. You are never a SeeD."

She heard his sharp breath. "Way to kick a beaten puppy, ex-instructor. Remind me to wake you up tomorrow to see the new instructor teaching your morning class."

"Are you going to move or what?" She waited until his foot led their movement.

"I prefer slow and gentle, instructor. I know from your choice of weapon you like it a bit rough. We can do it that way too if you'd like."

"My whip told me even he has a favoured choice of enemy to strangle." Seifer smelled of ammunition oil and hair gel. Quistis felt his glove on her back, keeping her close to his body. His coat looked old and soft. She didn't recall ever seeing him without it. "This brings back memories, isn't it?"

"You mean our first dance lesson before you become a SeeD?" He scowled. "Yes, this sure brings back memories when you punched me on the jaw then walked out on me."

"You called me a stuck-up bitch."

"What kind of dance it was if you didn't want to be held closer than the length of your arm?"

"Half-length. You're the one who pulled me until my nose hit your collarbone."

"It's not my fault Aki told us to move when you looked like your feet were frosted onto the floor."

"That was the worst dance lesson I ever have."

"That's my only dance lesson, ever." With Quistis rolling her eyes, Seifer took a deep breath and dipped her. She bent backwards; her hair clip fell down to the sand. She pulled herself up with his help and pushed him away in an effort to pick her clip. "I see you like your present."

She frowned at him from the corner of her eyes. "I don't have any other hair accessories but this."

"Yeah, yeah, welcome back for the thanks. I'm glad you like your present too." Seifer moved closer to her. His finger twirled on the loose hair as she tried to clip them up. With a smack from her palm, he drew it back. "You're more beautiful with your hair loose."

Her movements stopped. She looked at him with her hands tangled in her hair and the hair clip between her teeth. "Am no long'r n instruct'r n can't give y'u gred fer dat," she said through her teeth.

He gave a strange smile, something she had never seen before. It wasn't his usual degrading smirk, nor was it a self-assured grin. "Why do you think I gave you a hair clip?"

Was the air felt warmer because the season would change soon? Or was it because… the only person around was walking closer and…

"Wha're you doin'?" she said when his hand caressed and took her tangled hair into his palm. Another hand of his removed the hair clip from between her teeth.

"Helping you. What do you think I am about to do?" He was in no hurry when he twirled her hair and tucked it safe between the ornaments.

"Thank you."

There was no reply. Instead, she felt a gentle circle drawn on her nape. Something soft pressed against her skin. It was warm. It was inviting.

It was something that shouldn't be.

The arms of the man almost circled around her when Quistis took two steps forward, breaking the contact.

"Thank you for the dance, cadet. Good night."

She didn't look back. She didn't want to see his eyes. She didn't want to stay.

No. She should not stay.

_What will happen if I do?_

-x-

* * *

She opened her eyes. Listening to Matron's soft breath beside her, Quistis smiled and looked to her side. The black-haired woman lay on her side; her lidded eyes moving as if searching for something in her dream.

Quistis bit her lips, her hand still tracing the back of her neck, outlining the circle that was never there. Counting down the squares painted on the ceiling, she wondered what will happen if she stayed.

If she kept her feet on the ground, then perhaps…

_Perhaps he would laugh, push me away and mock me for thinking more into it. That is what's going to happen._

Quistis turned on the lamp beside her bed, sat and put her feet on the floor. Placing her elbows on her knees, she gazed at the massive door separating the guest room and the hall.

_Why am I still here?_

* * *

-x-

Ellone shook her head when Quistis turned her question-filled eyes from her stomach to her face. "I can't tell you. I promised not to tell anyone."

"Not even to me?"

Ellone's arms covered her abdomen, as if shielding the growth of her baby from the world. "I'm sorry. I can't help."

Quistis frowned. "Please. Just once. I just need to know one thing."

"It might endanger my pregnancy," Ellone said, sitting back on the bed. "I am so sorry. I wish it happened when I'm not…"

"You wish? You wish Seifer is dead when you are not pregnant?"

Ellone covered her mouth. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

Quistis studied the swollen stomach. "How many months?"

Ellone looked down. "This? Only about two weeks from now." She beamed and stroked her belly.

"Then you'll be able to bring me to the past again?"

Ellone's smile disappeared. "I'm not sure. I can't be sure my power isn't going to be transferred to the child once I give birth."

"I see." Quistis stared at Ellone, her eyes betrayed no emotion churning inside. "Then at what age is your child going to be able to help me?"

"Quistis!" Ellone clutched her stomach, her body shaking. "I can't believe you're going to put my child through this too!"

"At what age?"

"No!" Ellone glared at her little sister. "What is going on with you? Why are you so adamant about looking at his past? Since when have you become so selfish like this?"

Quistis's upper and bottom teeth clanked against each other before she said, "Since when did you think you know me?"

-x-

* * *

_I need to see him._

She peeked one last time around the room before closing the door.

There was still no guard on the hall. When she reached the entrance to the palace, nobody was guarding the door either.

Ever since Esthar was known to the world and Laguna told the media that Squall Leonhart was his son, there was never a day went by without at least four guards in the entrance. The media wanted to know about Laguna and his relationship with the Commander of Balamb Garden. The Second Sorceress War also put people on edge and there were massive numbers of armies placed between the city and The Tears Point.

This empty palace was something neither Quistis nor Edea expected when they first arrived. It did help Quistis when she walked out of the Presidential Palace and travelled into the Lab.

_Something must be done about the security in this place. I can't let Seifer stays here without anyone to make sure he isn't going to be stolen. Although who wants to steal him but Odine was beyond my comprehension._

Arriving outside Seifer's chamber, Quistis tried to peek inside. The glass door was blurry. Her hand reached to the side of the door and pressed the code she had acquired from Odine.

The door hummed and slid to the left, presenting Quistis with a view she would likely never forget.

The tube was shattered in pieces. The naked man with the golden hair was lying face down on the floor, fragments of glass, blood and white liquid pooling around him. The machine beside the tube let out a strange noise, trying to energize the liquid inside the tube that was no longer there. Blood and thick white liquid sprayed the steel wall. Two bloody hand marks printed near the struggling engine. The bigger mark of thick crimson fluid smeared between the handprints with parts of it drop down to the floor.

Near Seifer, lying half atop the bloody electronic switch that powered the machine, a man with a crimson-soaked white suit stared in the direction of the tube with lifeless gaze. His face frozen between surprise and fear, his jaw slacked open and blood that flew out from inside his mouth had dried on the board switch. His neck twisted into an unnatural position, blood covered half side of his body and several protruding bones came out of their place in his flesh. His slack hand was near the alarm switch. The office chair behind the electronic switch turned in circles, as if someone had just sat on it before.

She looked down to the floor, carefully choosing to step on a place where the ground was bare. Crouching down near Seifer, she pushed his body a little upwards so she could look at his face.

Half-expecting to see his eyes open, she had to swallow back her hope when she saw his face. He looked just as peaceful as when she left him earlier, minus the blood.

Quistis turned to the opened door.

"Guards!"

Standing up, Quistis walked to the lab assistant. With one hand checking his pulse and the other turning the alarm switch down, she waited for the sound to blare within the lab.

There was nothing.

Quistis pulled the alarm switch up and pushed it down again, receiving nothing for her effort. She peeked at the dead assistant and then to the naked blond behind her.

_What happened here?_

How long was Seifer out of the tube? This might ruin all the effort of carrying him here.

Quistis bit her lips and moved her head closer to inspect the dead assistant.

"There is no hard feeling."Her hands looped around the body, reached to the dead assistant's belt and opened it. She zipped down the pants, unbuckled it and removed the pants from the owner. Without bothering to look back, Quistis tiptoed to Seifer and crouched between his legs. Telling herself that this was necessary despite the bizarre situation, she set his legs into the pants' holes and started dressing him.

 _I am crazy._ She turned his body that his chest now faced her. _Two dead bodies, one newly dead and I am switching their clothes._ She buckled his pants and pulled up the zipper. _I need to set my priorities straight._

Quistis stood and moved to the door, looking to the left and right of the hall. Nobody was around. She turned her attention to the bloody chamber inside and placed her temple on the doorframe.

"Now what?"

Walking back to stand beside Seifer, Quistis looked down. Despite the mass pool of blood and bits of glass he was lying in, his body was intact. The blood must have been coming from the dead assistant hanging on the electronic switch.

_Who did this?_

She moved back to the dead assistant's side and turned the switch several times. Nothing happened. Frowning, Quistis walked back to Seifer. Crouching down, she took his arms and looped it around her before setting his body onto her back. Grabbing his arms above her shoulders, she stood up and settled his upper body into a comfortable position behind her.

He was light.

"It's a strange incident," Quistis said while carrying Seifer out of the chamber. "But there is no way I'm going to let you be blamed for all this." She looked behind her when they were out of the room, making sure Seifer's feet didn't drag the trail of blood. Once she saw that they did, she hunched, pushed Seifer's body upwards and grabbed the back of his knees with her arms.

Seifer's face nestled in the crook of her neck while she walked to the lab entrance, his arms hanging loose around her. Quistis frowned, wondering if her imagination before did mean something.

"You remember a year ago when we danced on the beach?" She looked right and left at every turn, now hoping no guards would catch them. "I wish it was my first time being hugged like this."

_Not now, not with you like this._

"Why are we here, Seifer?" Quistis bit her lips. The entrance was close. "What kind of mess have I put you into?"

In front of the entrance, Quistis stopped and observed the glass door. When she entered earlier, it was sliding open. She stood below the red laser, waiting for the glass to slide and let them out.

This time, nothing happened. Quistis nudged the door with one of her feet, trying to trigger something. The glass door refused to budge.

"There she is."

Before she had a chance to turn back towards the source of sound, a dull object crashed against her temple. Quistis staggered forward and pounded her body to the wall. Seifer fell onto the floor as her hands extended down for her weapon.

_Whip… bed… room. No._

The dull object rammed her once more, and she fell onto the floor. With hazy vision, Quistis looked up and strained to focus on her attacker. Three standing figures in front of her looked daunting. One clenched a big block of wood. The other two were behind him, one of them dragged Seifer by the pants.

"No, don't," Quistis said, holding Seifer's arms. "Don't."

"She ain't a scientist," said one of them. The other who was towing Seifer by the pants managed to seize him as the man with the wooden block stomped Quistis's hands, forcing her to release the blond. Quistis studied her attackers while looking for anything that could be used as a weapon. Her sight blurred, she felt a throbbing pain on the side of her head.

"This one's dead," said the man who checked on Seifer, knocking the body to the wall. Seifer's head crashed against the glass surface, his body slumped onto the floor.

The man with the wooden block crouched in front of her. "Do you know Odine?"

Quistis blinked a few times as a familiar crimson fluid started to fill her sight. "Who?"

"Odine. The one who has this lab. You know him?"

Taking a shaky breath, Quistis shook her head.

"Then you are useless to us."

She should have seen it coming. Lying on the floor, Quistis shut her eyes when the wooden block coming onto her, her arms paralysed on her side unable to block the rain of assaults.

One. Two.

_It hurts. Why am I doing this?_

Three. Four. Five.

_Odine, you better build another chamber for him._

Six. Seven.

_There is no way I'm dying here._

Eight—

"What the—aaah!"

Quistis peeked with one eye when the next attack she waited for didn't come.

"What is this?" The man shouted. "Get him off me!"

Something climbed on the man with the wooden block. The creature was mangled; its head tilted to the side. It crawled up to the man's side and clung onto his neck. The man screamed when the creature placed its head to the man's neck.

Quistis blinked the blur and blood from her eyes.

It was Seifer.

With a strange motion, Seifer's mouth clung to the vein on the man's neck. The man's friends gaped at the incident, unable to comprehend what happened. The man shook his body back and forth, trying to remove Seifer away from his neck. The scream he let on getting higher and more frantic the longer Seifer clung to his neck.

When Seifer released his bite, the wound on the man's neck sprayed blood. The man's friends cried and tried to hit Seifer's head and body, struggling to help their dying friend.

The wooden block fell from the man's hand, and as Seifer released him, the man collapsed face down to the floor. Seifer ogled the man and the pool of blood flowing from the man's neck, his eyes blank. One of Seifer's feet was kneeling while the other was ready to stand; Seifer crooked his head to the other two men. His head tilted to the side, as if not being supported by his bone. His body lurched forward and quivered.

"What—What the…" One of the men spun around and ran deeper into the lab, the other following not far behind as Seifer lurched to them.

Pushing herself to sit, Quistis put her back on the glass door staring at the dead man and Seifer, who made no further move of following the others. Seifer crooked to look at her. His eyes were bloodshot and dull. His lips were pale and agape, blood still flowing from his fangs. The rest of the crimson and the thick smell of tangy metal coated his frame, both fresh and from the incident at his chamber.

She wanted to hug him.

Seifer dropped to the floor. With both palms on the ground, he pushed his hips against the steel floor and crawled to her. Quistis didn't move, nor did she feel anything when he stopped in front of her and stared up at her.

"Seifer?"

He blinked. Something changed in his hollow expression.

"It's me." Quistis shut her eyes when he positioned his bloody lips on her neck. "Seifer, it's me."

His arms wrapped around her, his body shaking.

"Quis… elp me…"

She felt a loud bang on the glass door before her body fell backwards.

"Quistis!" Laguna crouched in front of her while two soldiers pushing the glass door wide open. "What happened? Quistis! Are you all right?"

Hearing several footsteps entering the lab, feeling Seifer's body on her chest and his frozen lips on her neck, Quistis breathed a shaky laugh.

-x-

* * *

"I'm really sorry for all this."

Edea tied the end of the bandages around Quistis's head before turning to Laguna with a smile. "It's not your fault. If this child didn't go to the lab all by herself, she wouldn't get injured."

Quistis was staring at the bridge door.

Standing in front of the pilot seat and shifting his weight between his feet every now and then, Laguna gave a goofy grin. "Well, at least everything is well."

_Well?_

Edea leaned back on the chair. "See what I told you, Quistis? It's better to let him rest in Centra than to carry him all the way here, isn't it?"

Quistis didn't answer; her eyes kept staring at the pilot door. Behind the closed door, the airport crews were busy placing Seifer's body on the available bed inside one of the crew cabin.

"I think you should listen to your Matron," said Laguna. "Since this afternoon, Odine was missing and we're now investigating the attack to the lab. Nobody can manage the preservation of a body without Odine."

"There is nothing else we can do here, Quistis," Edea said holding the arm of her child, trying to get her attention away from the door. "Let's go home to Centra. You can stay as long as you like."

Without breaking her stare from the door, Quistis stood from Ragnarok's pilot seat. "I need to bring Seifer to see Ellone for the last time."

"What?" Laguna shook his head. "No! You can't! She's—um, she…"

"If one of my little siblings is dead, I will want to know."

Edea nodded. "Then go see her."

"If I don't bring Seifer, she won't believe me." Quistis moved towards the door.

"Wait! Wait! Not now! She's uh…"

Quistis glanced to her back. "I know. I'll be back soon."

"You do? Wait, then you—agh!" Quistis marched away, the door closed behind her. Laguna groaned at his sudden leg cramp, peeking back to the cabin seat and grinned to the frowning Edea.

-x-

* * *

Ellone opened the door, staring at the girl with a lifeless body on her back.

"Quis, I… I told you I can't help." She noticed the bandages on Quistis's head. "What happened to you?" Ellone covered her nose when she smelled something she hated the most during her pregnancy. "Blood? How come Seifer—"

Ignoring the hesitation of the room owner, Quistis charged in and dropped Seifer who was smeared with dried blood on her bed.

"Quisty!"

"Just this once," Quistis said closing the door. "Please, Sis. I never asked you for anything until now. Just this once."

The pregnant woman grimaced, seeing Seifer on the bed and the haphazard condition of the instructor. "What happened?"

"The lab was under attack," Quistis said grabbing the woman's hands. "Sis, please."

"No. I told you no." Ellone pulled back her hands and turned away from the instructor. "I can't. I'm not sure it won't hurt me or my baby."

"You're not sure."

"I can't be sure I can do it in my condition, either." Ellone heard a thud and looked behind her.

On her knees, Quistis looked up at her, arms at her side. "What should I do to make you help us?"

"What?" Ellone shook her head. "Quistis, stand up. Please, I can't…"

_Quis… elp me…_

"Should I kiss your feet?" Quistis dragged her knees to where Ellone stand. "Will that make you help us?"

Ellone looked like she was about to cry. "Please. I'm not even sure I can do it again." She staggered back when Quistis bowed in front of her.

_Quis…_

"Please…" Quistis bowed her head low, her hands formed fists on the floor. "I can't do anything else for him."

… _elp me…_

Ellone rested her back on the wall across Quistis. "…Why?"

Quistis didn't raise her head. "Because I have to."

"Look at me, Quisty." Ellone waited until the girl raised her head and looked at her. "Please don't cry."

Blinking, Quistis raised her hand to her cheek and wiped down her unconscious tears.

Ellone bit her lip and stared at the dead body on the bed. "Once. Just once, and if it doesn't work, we won't try again."

-x-

* * *

_Ready?_

_Yes._

_Where do you want to go?_

_The last time… Time when he was killed._

… _Are you sure? You're going to look at the event from his eyes._

_Yes._

_Then…_

-x-

* * *

Ellone breathed in to focus her attention to what she was doing, but the scent of dried blood was too severe that she felt nauseous. Trying to ignore the source of smell lying beside her, she held the hand of the girl lying unconscious on her other side.

"I'm going to carry you to the past. This is going to be a bit shaky." Ellone breathed in and covered her nose when the smell flew into her nostrils again. Bad habit. She coughed. "It's been a while since I did this. Now…"

Feeling a tug on her nightgown, she shook the hand tugging her clothes away. "Not now, Seifer… Seii—"

Her head snapped to the dead side of her. Staring straight into the hollow eyes of the late man whose past she was trying to look, Ellone's eyes rolled to the back of her head and she fell backwards, her head thumped against the head of the bed.

-x-

_Ellone? Ellone?_

"Miss?"

_Ellone? Where are you?_

"Miss? Are you all right?"

With rough sand under her cheek and rousing sound of crashing waves on her ear, Quistis fluttered her eyes open. The shadow of a woman was above her, shadowing her from the stinging ray of sun.

"Are you all right?" The black-haired woman waited until Quistis sat. "Why are you sleeping in here?"

Quistis glanced around her. She was on a beach, half of her body damp from the seawater. Looking down to her body, Quistis had to swallow back the disappointment.

It didn't work.

Ellone just sent her to Dollet.

"I'm sorry," Quistis said, trying to stand up. Her head was spinning. The woman held onto her arm, trying to balance her new found sea treasure. "I'm—I'm just a bit dizzy. I need to get back home now."

"Home?" The woman still held onto her arm. "Where are you coming from? I haven't seen you around before."

Quistis nodded her thanks and tried to get her arm back from the woman's grip. "I'm from Balamb. I… I guess my boat left already."

"When is the next boat coming?"

Quistis smiled. "Maybe tomorrow. Anyway, I can catch the train if there is no other boat."

"Train? Haven't you heard?" The woman shook her head. "Estharian soldiers took control of the train. There is no train coming or going this part of the island for a week already."

_Wait, what? Estharian? How come… Laguna wouldn't do tha—aaa..._

Quistis replied with a loud sneeze.

"Ah, figures. You've caught a cold. You must be lying down there for hours." The woman patted the sand from Quistis's clothes. "You need a change of clothes. Let's come to my house for a bit. I think we have the same size."

"Um, no, thanks, I don't want to bother…"

"Nonsense." The woman turned and waved for her to follow. "It's just me and my son anyway, there's nobody else at home. It's good to have a guest at times like this."

_I need to get back to Balamb, and then figure out a way to retrieve Edea, Seifer and Ragnarok from Esthar. Squall's going to yell at me again._

Quistis sneezed.

_Oh, all right._

Trailing the woman into the town of Dollet, Quistis noticed some changes in a town she had just visited a few weeks ago.

"Are they renovating the city?"

The woman in front of her frowned when looking back at her. "Who's going to renovate in the middle of a war?"

_War?_

In front of the plaza, the woman stopped and spreading her arms wide, exaggerated movement to show her house.

"Ta-Da!"

Blinking a few times, Quistis held back from comment. She was sure this used to be a café. Just a few weeks ago, in front of it she sat on a patio chair and played with a tiny puppy while drinking latte with Zell and Selphie.

The woman fished out a key from her pocket and unlocked the front door without a problem. "Come on in! My husband's out."

Walking into the house, Quistis studied her surroundings. It was different. "You make a huge renovation on it, didn't you."

The woman tilted her head while closing the door. "Are you sure you're all right?"

A row of frames on top of a large black drawer drew Quistis's attention. Her smile at seeing the family disappeared when she saw the woman's husband and child.

"Who—what's your husband's name?"

The woman was already on the second floor. "Reno. He's in Dolletian Army."

Quistis released a breath she didn't realize she was holding until then. Placing back the frame with a picture of blonde soldier and black-haired woman on the drawer, she continued studying the son of the family.

"Is pink okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Your son is so...little."

The woman walked down the stairs, carrying pink clothes. "He just turned three last month. That kid runs all over the place, breaks my neighbours' items and swims with his full clothes on. I don't know why he can't be just like his father."

Quistis smiled. "Sounds like a normal boy to me." She accepted the clothes from the woman. "Thank you."

At that moment, the door swung open. A little kid barged in and collided face first against Quistis's knees, falling to the floor with a thud.

"Seifer!" The woman huffed, arms on her hips. "What did I tell you about _walking into_ our home? Now say something to the lady."

The boy scowled to his mother, then looked up. With his verdant eyes and bright smile, the blonde-haired boy gave a toothy grin to paralysed Quistis.

"Hello! I'm Seifa!"

-x-

* * *

_**To be continued…** _


	5. Angel's Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Evoke Chapter V**

**Evoke Chapter V**

**Angel's Tears**

* * *

-x-x-x-x-x-

-x-x-x-x-x-

The eyes were too innocent, too big. The smile was too wide. Still, when Quistis reached out and smoothed the hair, the sun from the window reflected a halo around the boy's head.

"Molning!" said the three-year-old from the edge of her pillow. "Mama said you hafta go down and eat befol ya go!"

She turned to the ceiling above her and stretched, in no hurry to get up. The boy made a windmill motion with his outstretched arms and ran downstairs, buzzing while doing so.

 _I'm still here._ Quistis sat up. It should be a dream. She should be back to her real world once she fell asleep in this place. However, the smooth hair of the boy was too real, and the pillow under her cheek was too soft. When she slept last night, Quistis was hoping to wake up in this world again, where the kid was bouncing in his mother's bed across from her and the mother was pulling her son down and snuggling him until the boy gave up. They giggled and the boy hid his face in his mother's chest. The mother smiled at his son and looked at Quistis, wishing her good night.

She had hoped to wake up in this world. That couldn't be the reason why she's still here.

"Morning," the black-haired woman said. She was sitting on the wooden table. The son sat across from her, in a chair too big for his little body, hands on the sandwich he chewed on. Butter and jam spilled down from the sandwich, dropping on the table and on the boy's hands. Somehow, the mother didn't seem to worry. She smiled at her ravenous son. The boy finished his sandwich and licked his jam-covered fingers, then reached for the plates of sandwiches in the centre of the table, hungry for more.

Quistis took the only seat left. She watched the boy chomp down yet another sandwich, this one with chocolate spread and peanut butter. He ate mostly bread, as the rest of it was sopping his hands, mouth and cheeks.

"Aren't you going to eat?" asked the mother, seeing Quistis watch her son.

"…No, thank you. I'm not hungry." Quistis looked at the filthy tiny hands reaching to yet another sandwich. Fifteen years from now, the boy would mock and tease on another kid who loved to eat five hot dogs at once. She was trying to wrap her head around this.

"Seifer loves eating." The mother took the empty plate. "Anything I made, he'll just eat them." The toddler showed three-chocolate and butter-teeth grin to his mother. "…Oh no, you lost another tooth again, didn't you?"

"Fel on the beach," said the boy, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, making even more mess on his face. Then he combed the hands on the hair.

The mother hummed. "Tooth fairy isn't going to give you a Gil if she has to scour the beach." She put the plate in the sink and turned to his son. "I doubt she even recognize you right now…"

The three-year-old hopped from the chair and ran to the door. "Imma find it!" he exclaimed with peanut-butter lips, before reaching out, greasing the door handle with chocolate and crumbs, pulling the door open and running outside.

"Are you going to leave right now?" the mother said as Quistis stood.

"I have to get back soon. Thanks for letting me stay the night."

"Of course," said the mother. "If you see that messy kid I called mine on the beach, tell him to get back soon before monsters decide he's a good enough dessert. They won't even know he's a human kid."

Quistis smiled. "I will."

"It's good to have a company these days," said the mother, accompanying the woman to the door. She grimaced when she had to hold on to the door handle, and wiped it with the edge of her long skirt. "If you stop in Dollet again, don't hesitate to drop by."

It wasn't hard to trace the son. Quistis only had to look down and follow the crumbs and strange sticky bare footprints to the beach. Walking downstairs from the town onto the sand, she looked around and saw an empty beach.

"Seifer?"

A yellow, floppy mess she thought was dead seaweed popped out from the water. "Yea?"

"What are you doing?" She walked closer to him.

"My tooth!" said the boy, face and head clean from the breakfast mess, now wet and dripping seawater. No wonder the mom wasn't interested in cleaning her son. "One Gil!" he said before dunking his head into the water again.

Quistis sat on the sand, watching the blurry yellow move under the water. Sometimes a small triangle flesh of a boy, that must be a nose, emerged above the water, and after a few seconds, disappeared into the ocean again.

After a while, a small, clean hand rose above the water. A tiny milk tooth held between the index finger and the thumb. The owner of the hand jumped from the water onto the sand, grinning and skipping.

"Foun it! Foun it! My Gil!" he said, splattering water and sand onto Quistis. She scooted back. The kid ducked down and dried his hair like a dog, storming drops of seawater onto the woman's face and body.

"…Nice." Quistis looked down and patted her damp clothes as the kid studied the tooth on his hands. She was hoping the tooth to be swept away with the waves. Seemed impossible that the kid could find what he lost yesterday.

The kid beamed at Quistis, then turned his head to the town. His smile widened and he yelled, "Daddy's home! Daddy's home!" He pointed to the town. "Filewok!"

Quistis stood and spun facing the town.

A house near the gates was up in flames. A man screamed. An old woman ran from the gates onto the beach. Halfway, she groaned and fell onto the ground, arrow on her back. Quistis heard the clash of metals and muffled cries. Up above the town, high on the hill, something rose from the tall building. A satellite soared up and expanded. Bright lights from the satellite fired up to the sky. Between the rows of the houses near the gates, a man rushed from the house towards the hill. Several metal-clad soldiers sprinted after him, yelling. One of the soldiers raised a long sniping gun and shot.

An armed soldier showed up from behind the Dollet gates. He saw them and yelled to someone behind him, then ran into the town.

Then the burning house exploded, sending the woman and the kid hurling into the ocean.

-x-x-x-x-x-

-x-x-x-x-x-

Eyes studying the endless chain of lights coming through the window filtered by white lace curtains, Laguna couldn't help but wishing to hear any noise from the beds. He sat on the edge of the sterilized room, where his daughter and Quistis Trepe were lying on the white single cots across him.

Neither woman made any sound to clue him that they were awake. He had been waiting for any improvement since the guards found both women lying on the beds of her daughter's room together. Any attempt to wake them had failed, and the doctor had told him that both were in coma. Laguna could try to make any assumption, he had, but he still couldn't put in the last puzzle of a major patch of blood-soaked sheets beside Ellone.

Seifer had been missing ever since. Laguna had to ask Edea to step down from the Ragnarok and extend her visit for several more days without cluing her about Quistis and Ellone. The sorceress accepted her 'extended guest visit' with poise, but something in her eyes caused Laguna to turn away before he could blurt out anything. Edea sat on her guest bed after the guard and Laguna escorted her into the same room she was in last night. She said nothing, merely staring at Quistis's empty bed when Laguna closed and locked the door.

Ragnarok was sealed at the moment and the entrances to Esthar were blocked. Three units had been dispatched to locate the corpse and a certain missing mad scientist. There was no report until now.

The door opened. Not making any sound to announce his arrival, Ward walked in and stood beside his chair. The man crossed his arms and studied the comatose women. He tilted his head and glanced to the man sitting on the chair.

"Yes, I can guess what happened." Laguna scraped at the surface of the white ceramic tile with his right heel. "I don't know how to wake her. If Ellone isn't awake, Quistis isn't going to wake up either. I've tried everything."

Ward glanced at him. His eyes said it all, _not everything._

Laguna looked away.

Ward stilled and waited.

"You want me to call him back?" Laguna leaned his head back to the chair and frowned to his best friend. "I lost track of him. I never thought we'd need him anymore. Not after…"

Ward shook his head and raised his hand, then gestured to Ellone. He motioned to his stomach and shrugged.

"So you say. But who knew what really happened?" Laguna could feel his headache coming back. "She could say they both love each other, but she's compromised. She's not going to reject him."

Ward raised his brow in amusement.

"No, seriously. She can say she loves him, they are meant to be together and blah-blah! Come on!" Laguna stood and walked to his daughter's bed. "He raised her too! What did they think I'd do?"

Ward walked to his side, reached out and patted Ellone's stomach. His other hand patted Laguna's shoulder.

Laguna swallowed.

Ward shook his shoulder and sighed.

The president looked down. "…Okay." He pushed the defeated feeling away. "If… if we can find him." He turned his head to the smiling man. "But it doesn't mean I consent! It's just—if he can do something…"

Nodding, Ward released his hold and straightened his back, then motioned to the door.

"Yeah. Hurry up?" Laguna gave a tired smile. "I'll be here."

Ward turned on his heel and left the room.

They had to find Kiros, wherever he was.

-x-x-x-x-x-

-x-x-x-x-x-

The fisherman nudged his captain. The man jerked his head up from the wheel. "Muh?"

"Did ya hear that?" the fisherman whispered. The aged captain wiped his drool with his sleeve and stared at his employee. The fisherman pointed to the edge of their ship. The old man moved his ear towards the direction and listened.

Someone was knocking on his ship, from the outside. The captain straightened when he heard the Morse code.

"I tell ya, it's that damn deck boy!" wailed the fisherman, hands holding his head. "I shoulda known he's not gonna leave even after his death!"

"Shut up, you oaf!" The captain rushed towards the sound. On the edge of his ship, he looked down to the ocean.

A blonde-haired woman, with a blonde-haired child on her shoulder, was looking up at them. She waved to him, eyes wide in panic.

"Mermaid! We got a mermaid!" said the fisherman next to him.

The captain rolled his eyes and shoved the fisherman, almost dumping him into the sea.

"Aiya! Why'd ya do that?"

"Get a rope or anything to pull them up, you idiot!" The captain yelled to the woman and her child. "Hang on!"

The fisherman dashed back with the rope. As they pulled the woman up, the captain noticed the child shiver and cry. The woman climbed onto the deck with ease, despite one hand clutching at the sobbing kid.

"What are you doing down there?" asked the fisherman. "Wait, wait… a rag…" He ran into the cabin.

"Thank you…" Once she stood on the deck, the woman let go of the rope and held on the child with both arms. The kid buried his face deeper onto her neck, wailing and trembling. "It's… uh. Our ship... sunk."

"Only you two on the ship?" the captain said, turning his head to her shoulder, inspecting the kid. The boy clutched on her mother even tighter and screamed. "Woo-oo, I didn't mean to scare you, boy."

"I only have this!" said the fisherman, running back from the cabin. "That damn deck boy got his uses." He gave a grey piece of clothes to the woman. She accepted them and wrapped her son with the big grey coat, pulling the red-cross decorated sleeves to cover her own shoulder.

"Mammma…." the boy groaned. He whimpered and sniffed, calming down under the warmth of the coat. "Mama…"

"Your mama's right there, you kiddo," said the fisherman, patting the child's hair. The boy flinched and looked up at him with tearful green eyes. Then he wailed and screamed again.

"Mamaaaa!"

The woman held on to the child's head, pushing him to snuggle her. "I don't know if anyone else makes it."

The captain sighed. "Well, just as well." He turned back to the ship wheel. "War's everywhere. If you don't die from the war, you die from the monsters or drowning." He placed his wrinkly hand on the wheel, for once allowing himself to remember the grey-haired woman who used to wait for him. "You got anywhere to go?"

Sitting near the barrel on the edge of the ship, the woman dried her long hair on the coat. The boy had cried for hours while she held him and swam. Despite the struggle of the boy wanting to return to his home, she took him away. He wailed in her arms, struggling for release. He wanted to get back to his home.

She wouldn't let him go. She did not come here to see the three year old killed by soldiers, or worse, burnt in his home along with his mother. Therefore, she swam.

Along the way, she realized she couldn't do this. She couldn't stay and make sure the three-year-old Seifer was safe. She wouldn't be here forever.

She had been swimming to the centre of the ocean, away from the town. An old fishing ship sailed slowly and went past them. She had reached to the old planks, held on with the hand circling on her boy and knocked.

The boy had given up crying. He went slack on her chest, tired of tears and struggles. His face had swollen and his nose red. She wiped the tears on his face and placed her palm on his soft cheek.

"I have a relative…" she said. "I… I wonder if you can take me there."

"To where?"

She looked up to the old man holding the wheel. "Can you take me to Centra?"

-x-x-x-x-x-

-x-x-x-x-x-

For the last time, she allowed herself to hug him. It was for the last time.

When she pushed him away, the boy bit his lip and whimpered.

"Don't cry," she said, hands cupping his small face. The toddler looked at her with damp eyes. The rest of his face pink and wet, tears on the edge of his eyes. "Remember what you're going to say to them?"

"Take me in," said the boy, small hands under the giant grey coat's sleeves clutching on hers. His tears fell again. "Take me in, please… I haf no one else." He sobbed when she released his face. "No, no…"

She closed her eyes and pushed him away. "Go."

The boy looked down, to his feet on the rocky beach, and then turned back to the woman behind him. "No…" he whispered. "Can I go with you?"

She looked away.

The boy released a small whimper, and turned his head back to a white building in the distance. He turned back to the woman. She had walked away. He took a step towards her.

The woman stopped and turned to him. "No."

He stopped in his tracks, eyes on her.

"No," the woman said. She pointed to the white building. "Go."

His lips wobbled. He frowned and scrunched his face. "I wanna go with you."

"No." The woman turned and walked away. He followed her. Three steps forward, she halted and turned to him. "I said no!"

He stepped back. He stared at her face. Unable to read her expression, the boy let out a wail and screamed, "Mama!"

The woman blinked.

"Mama…" he whined. "Mama… Mama! Mamaa!" Crouching down, the toddler hugged his feet and yelled, "Mama! Mamaa!"

The woman looked at the white building, then turned and ran.

The boy crouched on the rocks, tears blurring his eyes.

"What's that?"

"What…"

The toddler clutched on the rocks and wailed. He didn't hear quick footsteps coming near.

Something was next to him. Then, a pair of hands reached out and lifted him up.

"…Edea!" A man held him up. The boy's eyes widened and he struggled against the hands, feet flailing under the grey coat. "Edea! Come here! Hurry!"

"No!" the boy screamed. He turned to the direction of the woman. She had vanished. "No! Mama! Mama!"

"What is it? Oh…" A tall woman headed towards them, her hair long and black, flowing on her back. The boy stopped and stared at the hair. "Hyne..."

Reaching towards the woman's long hair, the boy grabbed it and looked at it. He gazed at the woman.

The woman reached towards him, taking him from the man's hands. "…Come on, let's get back to the house."

The boy held on to her shoulder, eyes never strayed from her hair.

Behind the high sets of rocks forming dangerous edges on rocky beach, a blonde-haired woman crouched down. She held the heels of her palms against her eyelids while biting her lips.

"I can't take him…." she whispered. "I can't take him. I can't." She sat and put her head between her knees. "I can't take him with me."

The woman lowered her hands from her face and moaned. She grimaced and closed her eyes. Leaning to the rock behind her, her shoulders dropped and her head went slack against the stone.

Under the watchful eyes of the sun above her head, Quistis faded.

-x-x-x-x-x-

-x-x-x-x-x-

* * *

**_To be continued…_ **


	6. Counterclockwise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter 6**

**Chapter 6**

**Counterclockwise**

* * *

-x-

Inside his cubicle, the ticket vendor flipped another page of his book. He no longer cared that the woman had been standing near the booth since half an hour ago. If she wanted to buy a ticket, she would have done it by now. The train would come soon, and she hadn't seemed to make up her mind.

The ex-Instructor of Balamb Garden flipped the coin in her hand. The old Dolletian king pictured in the brass had perished in the blaze of his castle more than a hundred years ago. Galbadian armies had obliterated royal bloodline of the kingdom, turning the once flourished régime into a colony barely able to defend its territory. Then came Adel with her Estharian soldier, and Dollet was no longer anything but a trivial port town.

Perhaps Quistis should just place the old coin with the other 2,900 Gil of hers on the booth and ordered that ticket. One month had passed and she had no mission offered to her. The fact that she was a level 20 SeeD didn't help attracting high numbers of clients. An ex-instructor, with very little experience of field missions, wasn't the first choice of clients who wanted a practiced and low-cost SeeD. Adding that to the fact that she had mentored a number of current SeeD teams made an understandable reason why plenty of SeeD team leaders didn't want to pick her as a member given another choice. In Galbadia Garden, Quistis didn't have any SeeD history. If she returned to the East Academy, then probably… probably Martine had something for her to do.

The Balamb Garden faculty had forbid her to enter the Training Centre after Quistis exterminated their entire supply of Grats, Fastitocalons, and more than ten T-Rexaurs last week. They had been trying to locate the rest of the five dinosaurs, despite rumours about a certain boy with a gunblade slaughtering all of them in one night. Rather than having to pay for the new imported beasts, Quistis elected to sign the form to never enter the Training Centre again, valid for two years.

Quistis hadn't thought much about Galbadia Garden when she visited Balamb this morning. After sitting on the dock next to an outlandish photographer, she heard about the photographer's studio in Deling City and her interest in photographing SeeDs in their daily surroundings. The photographer had left since then, taking the first morning train to Deling City. Quistis had since been standing there, next to the booth, wondering if she should just go.

She twirled the coin between her fingers. A pair of boots sauntered past her, the man headed over to the booth. She gazed up. Seifer placed some money on the booth and waited for the ticket. He had his trench coat, Hyperion equipped, and duffle bag slung over his shoulder.

"One ticket to Timber," Seifer said. The man glanced to his back, confirming that he did identify Quistis. "What are you doing here? Got a solo mission or something?"

Quistis placed the coin into her pocket. "No, I—what are you doing?"

Seifer accepted the ticket and the change. "You can see what I'm doing, why'd you even ask?"

"Why are you playing truant? Seifer, wait!" Quistis followed Seifer to the ticket machine. "Why aren't you in class?"

Seifer groaned. "Instructor or not, you're still noisy." He swiped the ticket into the machine and walked over to the train waiting area. Quistis stopped in front of the barrier.

"Seifer!"

"I had it enough, okay?" Seifer put the duffle bag on the floor and turned towards her. "I had it enough."

"What are you talking about?"

"This is it." Seifer deposited the change into his trench coat pocket. "I got better things to do than doing this all over again next year."

Quistis placed her hand on the barrier. "You should go back to Garden. We need to talk about this."

Seifer raised his brow. "Did you forget you're no longer anything in Garden, _ex-instructor_? I don't need to talk to you about anything."

"Wh—" Quistis took a deep breath. "You're supposed to be in the class at this hour, cadet Almasy. You should go back to Garden."

"Then what?" Seifer crossed his arms. "If I go back, then what are you gonna do about it?"

"I'll talk to instructor Aki so he won't punish you for truancy." Quistis watched Seifer throw his head up and laugh.

"Good luck about that." The approaching train signaled its horn. "Just go back to your Garden and do your job well, ex-Instructor… if you have any job now."

Quistis saw the train glide into the station. "Seifer, let's go back. Now."

"Nah." Seifer bent down and took his duffle bag. "What are you doing here anyway if you're not on a mission? Catching runaway students?" He slung the bag over his shoulder. "Well, at least you got something to do. I thought you're gonna do nothing 'till the end of this year."

She wouldn't let that comment get to her. "Seifer," she said, watching the man amble to the waiting train. "Seifer, don't do this. You only need to take your field exam and stay in class. You don't have to quit." The man ignored her. The train entrance opened. He gave the ticket to the ticket inspector. "Seifer!" Quistis yelled. She pushed the barrier that refused to budge. "Seifer, you can't quit like this!"

The ticket inspector returned his ticket. Seifer looked at the ex-instructor standing behind the barrier. "Bye, Trepe."

"Seifer!" Quistis watched the man stroll into the train. Seifer turned and waved at her as the door slid close. "Seifer!"

Seifer smirked and observed his ex-instructor yell at him. He couldn't hear anything, not that he cared now. Seifer spun and walked into the cabin.

The train announced its parting horn. Quistis clenched her fist as the train moved and left the station.

_No. No. This can't be. He has to be a SeeD. All that skill, all that power. He just needs to follow the rules. How hard can that be? How—I don't have time to think about it like this!_

Quistis whirled and ran to the ticket booth. The ticket seller gawked up when the woman almost crashed against the small kiosk.

"One ticket to Timber!" Quistis drew her old coin and the rest of her cash from her pocket. "Now!"

-x-

-x-

Night or day, it didn't matter in here. The SeeD could use the car anytime, thus the hatch leading to the Rinauld Plains would always be open. Of course, no thief would ever think of coming in through one of the most obvious open gaps, given the number of armed and ready mercenaries inside the edifice.

They arrived during nighttime.

They knew the place. They were familiar with how many staff operated in one shift, and today they would use the knowledge. They knew where the camera was pointing at, how many blind spots in one chamber. They knew the place as well as anyone else currently living in here.

That was good. They wouldn't want to make any mistake.

Staying low on the ground, Raijin crawled into the open hatch. He kept his eyes on the big window of the sentry room at the end of the parking lot. Two cadets sat in the chamber. Their eyes focused on the computer screen in front of them.

Behind Raijin, Fujin moved below the camera. A draft of silver formed in her palm. She threw the smoke orb to the floor near the sentry room. Raijin dashed towards the outer wall of the sentry chamber and waited under the window.

"Hey…? What's that?" one of the cadets said. He stood from his chair, unlocked the door and strode out.

Fujin lifted her hand towards the cadet walking out of the room. "SLEEP."

The cadet's knees buckled. He dropped to the ground, already halfway unconscious before his body touched the asphalt.

"Huh?" The other cadet watched his friend collapse. "Hey! What's wrong?" He ran out of the room, eyes on his friend.

The door closed, the camera inside the room didn't record the rush of Raijin. His arm circled the cadet's neck, other hand covered the cadet's face with a prepared handkerchief.

"Mmf…! Mgh—" The cadet sagged against him. The man pocketed his handkerchief and let the cadet's body slumped to the ground.

Fujin pushed herself off the floor, running under the camera pointing towards a side of the open hatch. Raijin crawled under the window, making sure the camera inside the room pointing to the windowpane never had him. He moved against the wall and followed Fujin entering the hall.

Fujin watched the new Disciplinary Committee member standing next to the Garden directory board. She glanced behind her, to Raijin, and nodded. They half-circled the back of the round hall into the dorm, avoiding the lone lookout altogether.

The two sneaked over through the quiet hallway, never letting the camera standing at the midpoint of the dormitory hall taped them. They stopped next to a familiar door, each framing the side of it. Fujin stood against the wall next to the entrance. Raijin took out his handkerchief. He squatted, raised his hand and knocked.

"Who is that?" asked a female voice, half-slurred. The sound of footsteps against the tile walking closer to the door. "Squall?" The door opened. "Why don't you just en—"

Before the girl had a chance to look, Fujin covered the girl's eyes. Rinoa screamed and flailed as a skinny arm circled and jerked her body against her assailant. Raijin pushed the chloroform against her breathing passageways. Rinoa strained to pull the cloth away from her.

_Squall! Squall! Help… me… Squ…_

Rinoa dropped her hands, her body limp against Fujin. Fujin released her hand covering Rinoa's eyes. With one arm over the sorceress' neck, she took out a metal bangle from her pocket. Raijin lifted Rinoa's hand. Fujin positioned the bangle circling the sorceress' wrist.

Raijin threw Rinoa's body up on his shoulder.

Together, the pair sneaked through the dorm hallway. Leaving through the back of the round Garden hall, they vanished into the parking lot when the lift opened. Squall dashed out of the elevator, his face pale and harried, surprising the DC member who was standing near the directory panel. The cadet watched the commander run into the dorm hall.

-x-

-x-

Quistis didn't have to open her eyes to know she was lying against the rock. Her back was sore. The girl groaned as she sat up. Massaging her back, she opened her eyes. Waves of blue water crashed against the jagged rocks greeted her vision.

She was still in Centra. Wonderful.

The instructor looked down. She didn't know what else she could do in this place. She had done what needed to be done. She put her small hands against the ground and pushed her body up.

 _Wait…_ Quistis gazed down, studying her small hands, her navy jeans and her sneakers. She patted her blue floral patterned blouse. _Wait a minute…!_

"Quisty!" a boy called her. Quistis turned to the orphanage to see a blonde-haired boy jogged to her. "Matron still can't find Squally!"

Quistis's eyes widened. "…What?"

The blonde-haired kid, at the same height as her, stopped in front of her and scowled. "Are you deaf or something? I said Squally's still missing! Can't find him." He flipped his long bangs to the side and rolled his green eyes. "Stupid mute ran away when he heard you're gonna leave."

"I—I see." Quistis glimpsed down. The boy was wearing a pair of old sandals and torn shorts. His legs were full of scabs and wounds, most likely from stumbling all over the rocky beach. The boy crossed his arms over his black T-shirt. When the blonde bangs fall again to his cheek, the boy jerked his head impatiently. "How old are you, Seifer?"

"What?" The boy stared at his orphanage mate. "Why do you ask 'bout that? You think I'm gonna forget tomorrow's your birthday or something?"

Birthday. Quistis was nine when she entered Galbadia Garden.

"I don't care about your birthday," said the nine year old boy. He looked away. "You're not gonna be here, so Matron's not gonna make you a cake. So I'm not gonna give you a present."

Quistis Trepe had never remembered this. "Did you give me a present on my birthday last year?"

"What are you talking about?" Seifer put his palm on Quistis' forehead. "You can't be sick today." He dropped his hand. "No fever. Squally's gonna be happy if you're sick. You can't go when you're sick."

"I—I…" Quistis reached up and pulled her hair. She only had a bob at this age. She still pulled at it, wishing she could feel the familiar length in her hands. "I don't… I mean… Do I have to leave?"

Seifer pouted. "If you don't wanna go, you shoulda said no last month!" he said, almost shouting. "It's too late now!"

Quistis dropped her hands and gazed at Seifer.

"Only me and Squall left." Seifer bit his lip. "Matron said we're gonna live with Cid."

_Two more left. Ultimecia came. Then Edea was alone... for a long time._

"Where are the others? Where's… Where's Zell? Selphie… Irvine…?" She didn't have to ask. She knew. Three years from now, she would meet Irvine Kinneas during gun training. She wouldn't remember him.

"You can't pretend you're crazy now." Seifer groaned when he saw something behind Quistis. "It's too late, Quisy." He nudged the girl to the side. "It's too late."

Quistis recognized the sea vessel. While the small ship docked within their walking distance, Seifer reached behind the stone Quistis was lying on earlier. He lifted the small knapsack and shoved it in Quistis's arms.

Seifer didn't look at the vessel when Martine appeared. He pushed Quistis away.

"Just go." Seifer took a step back when Martine stood next to Quistis.

"Where's your Matron?" asked the principal, taking out a small piece of folded paper from his pocket.

"She's after the stupid mute," said Seifer. He stared up at the principal. "I think a Tonberry ate him."

Martine frowned. "I see." He handed the paper to Seifer. "Give this to your Matron." He put his hand on Quistis' shoulder. "We need to go now. The storm's getting closer."

Quistis glanced up. She didn't remember Martine being this tall. Was his face always full of wrinkles? Had he always looked so sad?

"Come," said Martine, gently turning Quistis to the waiting boat. "Tell your Matron I'll come back later when the sea's calmer. See you later, boy."

"It's Seifer!" shouted the boy as Quistis entered the vessel. "Seifer Almasy! Remember that!"

Martine pressed the button inside the passenger cabin, closing the hatch. The sight of Seifer who cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled against the strong wind of Centra disappeared behind the closed access. Quistis sat next to the window, hands gripping her knapsack. She saw Seifer hopping and waving. She lifted one hand from the bag and waved back.

"Send me letter, Quisty!" Seifer's voice was still heard over the sound of starting engines. "I'm gonna send you a letter every day! I'm gonna send you my hair next week!"

Quistis placed her cheek against the cold glass, staring at Seifer leaping and flailing his arms.

"Your present's in the bag!" shouted the boy again. "Open it tomorrow! I'm gonna eat your cake!"

"Passionate kid," Martine murmured. He looked at Quistis. "Get some rest. This will take some time." At the girl's nod, the principal stood up and left the passenger's cabin.

Quistis watched the boy until Seifer gave up. The boy crouched on the rocks, head buried against his crossed arms. He sat on the beach.

Quistis opened her knapsack and reached inside. She pulled out her clothes, her socks, her underwear and her hair band. Dumping everything to the floor, Quistis drew a small tape out from the bottom of the knapsack. She turned the tape up and read the cover.

_The Knight and the Dragon: The Story of Galbadian Knight._

Matron gave this to Seifer on his fourth birthday. Aside from the old grey coat Matron said was from Seifer's parents, this was his only treasure.

They watched this almost every night. Seifer loved the long-haired actor playing as the Knight in this old movie. Even Squall liked to play a knight every now and then, although when there were only the three of them left, he chose to be a dragon than the princess.

Quistis lay on the long seat and drew her knees up, feeling the boat's slow rocking motion. She cradled the tape to her chest.

Quistis shut her eyes. She didn't want to look through the window, only to see the boy she had left crying on the beach.

Quistis Trepe acquired her first GF at age ten. She didn't remember all of his presents. She didn't remember what happened to the tape. Four years from now, Quistis Trepe would transfer to Balamb Garden. The teenage Quistis would meet Seifer Almasy for the first time.

-x-

-x-

The surface was supple this time.

It wasn't Sis' room. The bed was different. She lifted her head from the pillow, then looked around. The wall was bare white. The air was rigid. Ellone was sleeping on the bed next to her. A glass cupboard sat next to the cot she was lying on. Inside, she saw bottles and tubes. A chair placed between their beds, a book left open on top of it. Light came from the massive window behind their bed frames, covered with white curtains.

Quistis sat up. Taking a deep breath, the instructor studied her hands. Satisfied, she glimpsed at her clothes. Throwing the blanket away, she hopped to her feet and paced to Ellone's bed.

"Sis, it didn't work," she said to the pregnant woman. "Sis? Wake up." Quistis shook Ellone's shoulder. "It's enough. That's not what I want to see." Ellone's eyes were still closed. Quistis bent down and lifted one of Ellone's eyelids.

"What…" Quistis dropped her hand. "No... Sis? Sis?" She shook Ellone's shoulder and jerked her hand, pulling the woman's upper body from the bed. "Wake up. This isn't supposed to happen. Sis!" Quistis let Ellone's hand go. The pregnant woman fell back to the bed.

 _It's not supposed to be like this._ Quistis crouched and watched Ellone's chest. She was still breathing. _What should I do now? What… I don't… I…_ Quistis frowned. _Where's Seifer?_

"Quistis!"

She turned and saw Laguna standing behind the door.

"You're awake!" Laguna beamed. He rushed towards Ellone's bed. His smile faltered when he saw the state of his daughter. His shoulders drooped. "B—But you're awake! I don't—I don't get it. She's supposed to be…" The president's face crumpled. "I don't get it."

"Where's Seifer?" asked Quistis.

The president frowned. "Seifer? I don't know. I—what happened, Trepe? What—if you two were dreaming about the past, with the fairies and all… why isn't she awake by now?"

"I don't know." Quistis sat on her bed. "I don't know, Mr. President." She watched Laguna caress Ellone's hair. "I brought Seifer into Ellone's room. He's supposed to be there… right?"

The president pulled his hand back. "There's only the two of you when I got there." Laguna pulled the blanket up and covered Ellone all the way to her chin. "Something's going on. Odine has disappeared too."

"Odine?" Quistis stood up, following Laguna to the door. "Wait, wait, where are you going? What do you mean Odine disappeared?"

"I'm going to call a doctor to check up on you," said Laguna. "We'll talk later. Maybe the doctor can find out what's wrong."

The door closed. Quistis stood in the middle of the room. Then she heard the lock.

"Wait… Laguna!" She ran to the door. Twisting the door handle, Quistis yelled, "Laguna! Why did you lock the door?" Laguna's footsteps went farther. "Laguna! Open the door!" She pounded the door with her fist and sighed in frustration.

 _Odine_ _disappeared. Seifer… can it be that the doctor took him? He had some interest in his body…_ Quistis placed her forehead against the door. _The longer I'm here, the farther that insane man will go. I need to get out._

The instructor studied her surroundings. She saw the window and walked over to it, pushing the curtains to the side. She unlocked the window shutters and pushed it open.

A vast desert stretched as far as her eyes could see. Quistis realized she was only on the second floor of the building, but ahead, there was nothing more than sand.

 _If this room is in the palace, that means I'm on the Esthar's city border._ Quistis narrowed her eyes, looking further past the draught of a sandstorm in the distance. Behind the draft, she saw a tall shadow, nothing more than a long silhouette against the bright sky. _I remember now. Tears' Point._ When she reached the structure, she would remember her way out of the country. The doctor would have left the desert at this point, knowing that he couldn't possibly hide under the nose of Loire.

Quistis told herself not to think about the height when she jumped out of the window. She landed on her heels, gritting her teeth from the jolt of pain shooting up to her legs at the impact. She stood up, taking one step at a time. Her eyes focused on the tall shade behind the strong current of wind.

She knew she had escaped the city of Esthar when the gust of sand hit her in the face, knocking her back. She swayed following the mixed torrents of sand and air dancing in the desert. She cared about nothing but the tower in the distance. Quistis struggled to knock away the dizziness from the scorching sun above her head. She desired to snub the pain growing from the heat. Another strong draft of stifling air hit her, and she collapsed. She strained to look up. Grainy sands cuffed her face, causing the blonde to close her eyes as tight as she possibly could.

_Damn it._

_Sorry about that,_ said the familiar voice. _Seifer surprised me. I can't focus._

_Ellone_ _?_

_That's too far way back. You're not supposed to see that._

_Ellone_ _, what are you talking about? Why aren't you waking up?_

_I can do this. Right now I can focus._

_Forget about it. It's not what I wanted. Just… just wake up. Just wake up._

_I know what you want, Quistis. I can do that. I can do better than that._

_What are you talking about?_

_Trust me, Quisty. This is what's supposed to happen in the first place._

_Ellone_ _… stop it. I don't want it anymore. Just wake up._

_Quisty_ _, you have to trust me. This is the right time._

_The right time for what?_

_I can do more than that. I can do more._ _Quisty_ _, I'll take you there._

_Take me where?_

_Open your eyes._

Quistis peeked with one eye.

Sand.

Pushing herself up, the instructor gritted her teeth. Nothing happened. She was still in the middle of the desert, at the same place. She took a long breath, trying to calm herself. It was time to admit to herself that Ellone couldn't help her.

In the distance, Tears' Point looked much clearer. Quistis had fainted for a while, given that the sandstorm she had smashed her face into earlier had gone. The desert was clear. She stood up. If she wanted to cross the desert to get to the tower, now was her best chance. The sun wasn't as blistering as before, and there was a long shadow shading her from—

Quistis looked up and froze.

A year had past, and she could swear she still remember every part of the flying contraption. She could remember all the fights she had in it, all the monsters she had to flee from. She remembered everything about it. She remembered the last time she ever saw the man. He had staggered away from them, Hyperion held weakly in his hand. He stooped low, body bled and broken. The man with the gunblade disappeared after throwing Rinoa into Adel's arms. She had never seen him again. Not alive.

Quistis Trepe had remembered Lunatic Pandora.

The structure in front of her couldn't be it. It had disappeared along with the defeat of Ultimecia. No, the giant apparatus opening its bottom hatch in front of her couldn't be it.

The woman stood her ground. She watched as the device dumped a body in the sand. Then the flying machine shook, as if hesitating before spewing a gigantic iron sword that rolled several cycles into the air before stabbing deep into the sand next to the body.

"You giant piece of shit!" yelled the figure, not even looking up. "You fucking crap of a vibrator!"

As if it understood, the flying contraption dropped a grey-coloured garment right on top of the body.

"Mmf!" muffled the figure.

Quistis dropped to her knees. She saw the figure wobble under the grey coat still swearing over the structure that had flown away. She gazed down. The coat sleeve was inches before her fingers.

She pulled the sleeve towards her.

The coat slid aside, the body under it stopped moving. The man, both eyes swollen and unable to see, peered up. Blood was dripping from his broken lips. His left cheek had swelled, the place where Squall had rammed the hilt of his gunblade. His left temple had a deep gash, the spot where Angelo had jammed her fangs. His clothes were tattered, burnt and torn apart from Selphie's Limit Break. His right thigh limped from the bullet that Irvine had given to him. Deep cut ran from his right shoulder to his wrist, the one she herself had bestowed on him using her chain whip.

"Who's there?" murmured the man. He raised his chin, tried to peek from the swollen flesh caused by Zell's fists and groaned. "Shit. You're not one of that loser's soldiers, aren't you? Fuck, just what I need."

She reached out, paused and decided to place her palm on the only unbroken part of him, the right cheek. The man cringed at that. His brows furrowed and he turned his nose to the hand. His swollen eyelids flickered.

"Instructor?" Seifer Almasy asked. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you up there?" His left brow rose. "That thing spat you out too?"

-x-

-x-

* * *

_**To be continued…** _


End file.
